tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6182966906712651592024-03-13T07:11:14.229-07:00Acceptance HealingEmpowering you to Transform through Mindful Acceptance and Balanced EnergiesCaseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.comBlogger75125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-35106007913702065052018-01-31T20:47:00.000-08:002018-01-31T20:47:51.197-08:00How to be Wisely Positive...<div class="MsoNormal">
A student in my meditation class said that she strived to always
be positive and struggled with thinking about life’s negativities. Her remark alluded to, what I suspect, is
many people’s coping strategy in a world that is increasingly overrun by
outspoken negativity and discord, and outlandish fear. But is it wise to willfully blinder our full
view of life? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfywiTOtxxuyc9UELRGXtKGUUeWiLGx9lxpREG9c0QKtFDG0h3NojZsmSnwS5HxOYShs1XsC-ycYzZX0swVFZ5oQjzpJjV6lar7WbD-sF39Vzj7BMux0DKWuw0l7yW1XNXEu7fLplu1WyB/s1600/20161014_174040.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfywiTOtxxuyc9UELRGXtKGUUeWiLGx9lxpREG9c0QKtFDG0h3NojZsmSnwS5HxOYShs1XsC-ycYzZX0swVFZ5oQjzpJjV6lar7WbD-sF39Vzj7BMux0DKWuw0l7yW1XNXEu7fLplu1WyB/s320/20161014_174040.jpg" width="180" /></a> Without a doubt, an optimistic outlook is an extremely good
habit to develop. Thinking positively
and filling our hearts and minds with a cheerful attitude is beneficial to our
overall well-being: we feel happier, calmer, and more peaceful. And <b>if
you ARE going to think, then it is certainly a wiser use of time to supplant
rumination, recrimination, and resentment with thoughts of forgiveness,
tolerance, and kindness. </b>This is the aim of meditation practices.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Believing, however,
that a positive mind state is achieved by avoiding life’s unpleasant or painful
experiences is diametrically opposite to both life and meditation’s goals -- to
awaken and cut through ignorance. In other words, in life and meditation we are
training the mind to grow wise and skillful in dealing with life situations. Why then do we struggle to openly face all of life’s
experiences?<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b> Our unconscious habit
is to shift away from discomfort and to gravitate towards comfort. </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I awoke this morning, the house temperature was around
58 degrees Fahrenheit or 12 degrees Celsius.
I turned on the tap, and I felt ice cold water hit my cupped hands. Without a thought, I turned the handle towards
the hot water side. We do these kinds of
actions constantly throughout our day: if we are cold, we turn on the heat or
add layers; if we are hungry, we immediately reach for a snack; if our body
tightens up sitting in one position, we shift our weight; if we have an itch,
we scratch it. This is not to say we
should not enjoy life’s pleasures or make ourselves comfortable. The point is our tendency is to only
want pleasant experiences and to avoid unpleasant ones. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are constantly judging and challenging our experiences: <b>thinking that a situation is wrong or
shouldn’t be happening causes us to suffer and be stressed out. </b> We try to prevent unwanted experiences from occurring by scheming, worrying, and resisting, but they occur nevertheless.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU9C13TSRGFhQ5Pvqp6tZJ52lxyA8M4_I4z64EcaFAKVUIaiMKJ25qXl_Gyq0ceaVu6x1UHX-B1jifIt84mRvfsYrYUlYMPThJmivhSe-mkO-UmpnhF3NIOKj6BCsbOjeGBPZ7zngsWJp6/s1600/20160824_104644.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU9C13TSRGFhQ5Pvqp6tZJ52lxyA8M4_I4z64EcaFAKVUIaiMKJ25qXl_Gyq0ceaVu6x1UHX-B1jifIt84mRvfsYrYUlYMPThJmivhSe-mkO-UmpnhF3NIOKj6BCsbOjeGBPZ7zngsWJp6/s320/20160824_104644.jpg" width="180" /></a><b> Life has good and bad
experiences. <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We can’t control what arises, but we can control how we
think about it. We are empowered when we
acknowledge the things we struggle with, because the willingness and
ability to clearly see the issue at hand prepares us to deal with it. <b>When we know, we can’t be broadsided.</b> Moreover, it is only in actually forging through
a challenge that we discover our resilience and strength. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b> A genuinely positive
mindset is the result of being aware of life’s pain and being able to
skillfully deal with it. <span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We train the mind to be optimistic and simultaneously clear-seeing:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: 0in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">B</span></span><span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">y o</span>bserving our own mind. With a gentle gaze, we attend to our own challenging
unpleasant habits. Pay attention to the
arising of unbidden feelings and thoughts such as resentment, jealousy, fear,
greed, and their effect on our mood. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: 0in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Sitting meditation provides the space to begin to notice emotions and thoughts that habitually rattle around in us, but may be
overlooked because we are constantly busy.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; text-indent: 0in;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><span style="text-indent: 0in;">Meditative reflection allows us to witness the
fleeting nature of our emotions and thoughts.</span><span style="text-indent: 0in;">
</span><span style="text-indent: 0in;">Seeing their transience, we are empowered to persevere, to be humorous, to
strongly face the challenge, and to be vigilant for when they next surface. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="text-indent: 0in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: 0in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Acknowledgement and acceptance of the good and bad in life cultivates mental and emotional stability and lessens our judgmental mindset. <b>Experiencing
life in all its complexity from a centered, open perspective is the wisest,
most genuinely positive way to live a happy, peaceful life.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
May you see clearly with a positive mind and heart.<o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-90511594638288492462018-01-02T16:26:00.000-08:002018-01-02T16:26:14.143-08:00Creating Stillness of Heart & Mind<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s a new year. And
time for resolutions. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My resolution is -- to be quiet. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As a talkative person who began speaking before the age of
one, this is going to be quite the challenge.
For months now I’ve been feeling the need for greater stillness and
silence in my life, but it’s not been easy to break this habit of chatting. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, there’s nothing like a strong incentive! And I just received a spur to silence.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfosNBwLRFH0WNp18z9zt7gSXZlSg7JANBQFEjLedjAQXTvm8wze8EzvDPbFPP_wUSx1D0TAP93bCB1lmvlsQiMahBmoGlBbnONZmHtsjx8C-9bKGQpCGs4FSHoZ0l-kWwELHV_K_DlW-2/s1600/20170727_161009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfosNBwLRFH0WNp18z9zt7gSXZlSg7JANBQFEjLedjAQXTvm8wze8EzvDPbFPP_wUSx1D0TAP93bCB1lmvlsQiMahBmoGlBbnONZmHtsjx8C-9bKGQpCGs4FSHoZ0l-kWwELHV_K_DlW-2/s320/20170727_161009.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A friend and I were on the phone discussing our group of friend’s
aborted New Year plans. In the run up to
this holiday trip, I had become the de facto liaison between the various parties. In the relay back and forth of people’s wishes,
desires and wants people became upset. I find myself in the unenviable position of
being blamed for plans falling apart.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I can delay no longer. It's time to honour the yearning for stillness!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To break a habit, we have to establish new ground rules or
failing that, create some distance from the things and situations that
encourage our habit. Support
systems quite naturally coalesce around our habits and ensure their perpetuation. For instance, at social gatherings,
especially with family and friends, our habits are nourished because we all
unconsciously role-play our designated parts. In my case, because I’m gregarious, quiet people tend to rely on me to carry on conversations and keep the “party
going”. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So it becomes imperative when
trying to make changes that we examine our lives and lifestyles to determine the
existing support systems that keep us playing the roles we no longer want to
maintain. Forging a new habit will necessarily
require new ways of engaging or less frequent engagements.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The advantages to being silent are manifold.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm1HhaLplpJmUYVc2eEmC2OWmS_vgtnWtJSayu1ccSHRqhUd0yoY0Y3vYG2zabHZ1bSykb4Of4lFDFcO3d-0-BB3WcfcIcsdYrCW1gb3WdWm9xgzxw-vf4HT2QtbOj5uhkvzC8lE6hFhfM/s1600/20170728_201017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm1HhaLplpJmUYVc2eEmC2OWmS_vgtnWtJSayu1ccSHRqhUd0yoY0Y3vYG2zabHZ1bSykb4Of4lFDFcO3d-0-BB3WcfcIcsdYrCW1gb3WdWm9xgzxw-vf4HT2QtbOj5uhkvzC8lE6hFhfM/s320/20170728_201017.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Silence enhances our senses.
A few months ago I went on my first trip to Hawaii. On the first morning there, I noticed
something I hadn’t realized I’d unconsciously been paying attention to. After
meditating, I began my other practices which I had typed on paper. As I picked up the pages, I was struck by their
muted sound. In Hawaii’s humid air, the
papers had absorbed so much moisture that their characteristic hard crackling sound
was completely transformed. Not only was the sound of the paper different, its
texture had changed too; it felt soft and velvety and almost leathery
in my hands. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In stillness - stillness of the mind, body and speech - the
mind becomes attentive to such subtleties.
When the mouth stops moving, our sensory consciousnesses expand.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A very important benefit to speaking less is that it creates
the space to notice our thoughts and bodily feelings. We are constantly receiving signals of what’s
going on mentally and emotionally for us, but because our attention is turned
outward in conversation, we often miss them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Listening to our thoughts and feelings helps us interact
skillfully both socially and with ourselves.
This mindful attention to our thoughts and feelings calms the nervous
system, and helps us be present and non judgmental. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To maintain this new habit of being silent, ask yourself the following
questions before speaking: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]--> Am I
going to improve the silence by speaking?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm6jceYn2Tqe1d0xgSYBb7_7Ny0M_0oZ4z5gIq803fQcWJVFCWShknSyVs9NdeIyXIuGjFc6uUEFXMs_eXBzJ8yAPHAJqfHztGQyYk5qtzByu8rXHAcBPzwL9mFHvRt5HBeB7dSWIVy6eg/s1600/20170728_201402.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm6jceYn2Tqe1d0xgSYBb7_7Ny0M_0oZ4z5gIq803fQcWJVFCWShknSyVs9NdeIyXIuGjFc6uUEFXMs_eXBzJ8yAPHAJqfHztGQyYk5qtzByu8rXHAcBPzwL9mFHvRt5HBeB7dSWIVy6eg/s320/20170728_201402.jpg" width="320" /></a> 2.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->What of value am I contributing by sharing now?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you can’t refrain from commenting, then write out your
feelings and thoughts instead of speaking them.
When you calm down, go back and read what you wrote; it will reveal how
much wiser it was to be silent. <br />
Journaling
is a powerful way of processing our emotions and thoughts. It can also provide helpful kinder ways of
sharing our feelings. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think I’ve given
myself and hopefully you too enough reason to speak less and thereby increase
your inner peace and calm.<o:p></o:p></div>
May your 2018 be filled with love, happiness and stillness
of heart and mind.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-37542168669255703392017-12-20T19:41:00.000-08:002017-12-20T19:44:53.944-08:00SEASON'S GREETINGS<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-size: x-large;">I wish you a Mindful, Peaceful, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-size: x-large;">and Joyful Holiday Season.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-size: x-large;">May 2018 bring you all your heart's desire!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkTocmDhzqG01jiOuxFiQB3wbl-cnxAK7HY86Bq3vcDetufH6a1rbpbhyphenhyphenyFSU1H0s_su42lnhSSoSIU_6kWnH8A59J8yfjAY1pWFjewSzI2WlaRnhKstf30X2zIFne-tCXL-raBt6aKGRV/s1600/20171010_115114.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkTocmDhzqG01jiOuxFiQB3wbl-cnxAK7HY86Bq3vcDetufH6a1rbpbhyphenhyphenyFSU1H0s_su42lnhSSoSIU_6kWnH8A59J8yfjAY1pWFjewSzI2WlaRnhKstf30X2zIFne-tCXL-raBt6aKGRV/s320/20171010_115114.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-19496655503902091332017-09-27T15:16:00.000-07:002017-09-27T15:16:49.166-07:00Here's Something for You<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilhjiyMyMxFbTPa7d3LjacC4gVA8Fl1DIT12XAnT8Y0uNea25BpZ66zUp29j57aCZl93pSFTlIbY5KvSnnZhnSbtbsIs5xIa4NldqfKtSlD1OyQuiMekf_m65DMWTX3kAuv9Zvy8uE48ry/s1600/prickly+bush.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="754" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilhjiyMyMxFbTPa7d3LjacC4gVA8Fl1DIT12XAnT8Y0uNea25BpZ66zUp29j57aCZl93pSFTlIbY5KvSnnZhnSbtbsIs5xIa4NldqfKtSlD1OyQuiMekf_m65DMWTX3kAuv9Zvy8uE48ry/s320/prickly+bush.jpg" width="150" /></a><span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> Reports of the many disasters, hurricanes,
earthquakes, floods, civil wars, famines, and ethnic cleansings that are bombarding us with requests to donate, volunteer, sign petitions,
or call congress are physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> I've </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #990000; font-size: 21.3333px;">just completed a fund-raising drive to combat world hunger and chronic malnutrition, so I was one of those people asking you to give your money and time for a worthy cause.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #990000; font-size: 21.3333px;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #990000; font-size: 16pt;"> Borrowing a guiding principle from yoga, where every posture
is counter-balanced with a posture in the opposite direction, in this article instead of asking I’m
going to give.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #990000; font-size: 16pt;"> I now want to thank each and every one of you for your effort, however large or small, that you make in your everyday life to contribute to the
sanity, peace, respect, and harmony in this world.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEima7wum-JxuW0R77ken6rBmqEX9Ej7Rd2-zkWqA1MTU1yVdBx0Ni4DAzrrVtEf4WhKmo4t8BOtGLJL5DZVak9pzjUBWX8qFF4jjkUnyKH3h8FHKah4cuNFG3tdoJQJVHncZ6yRY6seSOW_/s1600/20170728_201236.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEima7wum-JxuW0R77ken6rBmqEX9Ej7Rd2-zkWqA1MTU1yVdBx0Ni4DAzrrVtEf4WhKmo4t8BOtGLJL5DZVak9pzjUBWX8qFF4jjkUnyKH3h8FHKah4cuNFG3tdoJQJVHncZ6yRY6seSOW_/s320/20170728_201236.jpg" width="180" /></a><span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> To my readers, followers, friends, family, acquaintances,
students, and all the people with whom you so generously share my articles, and
to the donors, rescue workers, medics, and neighbours, who every day come to the
aid of all living beings, I thank you for your effort in helping to increase the
light in this world, for opening your hearts, pockets and homes, and for easing
the pain and distress of those who need a hand up now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> I rejoice in your arms-flung-wide response to relieving the
suffering in this world.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #990000; font-size: 16pt;"> May your kindness and compassion manifest with abundance
beyond your wildest imaginings.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-size: 21.3333px;"> [</span><span style="font-size: 21.3333px;">Incidentally the walk was a success as we raised a significant amount for Hurricane Relief efforts plus the education and feeding of children around the world.] </span><span style="font-size: 21.3333px;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #990000; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-size: 21.3333px;"> My deepest thanks to you and yours.</span></span></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-5494976160934024052017-08-30T13:40:00.000-07:002017-08-30T13:40:38.916-07:00Unpacking Mindfulness Meditation<div class="MsoNormal">
When I sat down to write this month’s article, I was intent
on having it coalesce around the idea of food justice, food as a weapon of war,
and the greed and power that contributes to, if not creates worldwide hunger;
my reason was primarily because I’m in the midst of organizing the <a href="http://www.karunabv.org/san-jose-walk-2017.html">San JoseWalk to Feed the Hungry</a>. But I really struggled to remain unemotional.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instead I ended up writing this article on mindfulness
meditation. Deconstructing this popular and much-researched meditation
technique also served to remind me of <b>the power in this seemingly simple
meditation. </b> Many of you’ve heard or know
something about it, and perhaps have even learned and practised it. I’d like to <b>share with you my take on this profound
meditation technique. </b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll conclude with <b>hints on, to use a modern word, “hacking”
your life to greater mindfulness</b>.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
WHAT IS IT?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mindfulness meditation comes from the Buddhist tradition. Its
main components are: first, it is a meditation.
This means you have to actually experience it and not just study it. Second, it is a practice and as such
you need to do it daily or at least often enough to begin reaping benefits.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIwW0toojkr33ZGhm2YiVQ53ez-0qD7wrON4vrKFjJLGsZ7_l5VdH7KOFD-sOJyp_yNDMc1k-aBhuLS0mJyKY38E5xKMrwrY1cny8smHhSs-PPt2BL4xtJOltKOJXXqGW11XHL5QEDTOl-/s1600/peach+light+tight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1103" data-original-width="1036" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIwW0toojkr33ZGhm2YiVQ53ez-0qD7wrON4vrKFjJLGsZ7_l5VdH7KOFD-sOJyp_yNDMc1k-aBhuLS0mJyKY38E5xKMrwrY1cny8smHhSs-PPt2BL4xtJOltKOJXXqGW11XHL5QEDTOl-/s320/peach+light+tight.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A moment of pure awareness</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b> Mindfulness is awareness</b>.
Awareness of something you see, hear, smell, and so on in the <b>moment
before you identify or label it</b>. This is
a particular kind of awareness: it is knowing
or noticing in a detached manner. Typically such awareness is extremely brief,
a flash really. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The way we mostly go through life now is unconsciously judging
all our life experiences. Either we hate
something and want it to end immediately, or we love a thing and desperately
wish it to last forever. <b>Our lives are
characterized by this pervasive dissatisfaction.</b> We rarely experience pure awareness that’s
separate from our desires, dislikes, and disinterests. <b>The aim of practicing mindfulness meditation is
to increase the duration of pure awareness.
</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Right now, you are probably thinking, is this doable? Yes!
True, the mind can’t conceive of another way of being because it is
accustomed to its current operating mode. Just as the habit of wishing for
things to be different was honed over a long time, so too can<b> the tendency to impartially observe our life experiences</b>. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It takes effort, discipline, and commitment. As with all worthwhile ventures, when you know your reason
for undertaking such an endeavor it makes it easier to commit to it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF3UFOMEAtUwPTBRlNCUk2dNGEWzHE1sdJcG6NoH3n1jv66qV5GdxyTGa3cNH8TYWdtVs1WSHs2e9gse3ExLaTsDYTzV7cag2VTRRXWEzP_-Hol4ufZyjT5cSpBn7SNzOIVir6yp0AJGGE/s1600/water+drop+tight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="579" data-original-width="930" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF3UFOMEAtUwPTBRlNCUk2dNGEWzHE1sdJcG6NoH3n1jv66qV5GdxyTGa3cNH8TYWdtVs1WSHs2e9gse3ExLaTsDYTzV7cag2VTRRXWEzP_-Hol4ufZyjT5cSpBn7SNzOIVir6yp0AJGGE/s320/water+drop+tight.jpg" width="320" /></a> </div>
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THE TECHNIQUE:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The first thing you do is <b>train the mind to be aware of just
one thing</b>. If that sounds contradictory,
I suppose it is. But if the mind were allowed to be aware of everything unfolding in the moment,
it is easy for it to get lost and wander aimlessly. So
an entire meditation session can pass by with you fantasizing and ruminating. There are open awareness meditations that
use the above technique, but they are difficult for beginners to do. <br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihhfpi8PH9gyiMv5_0kjB9YTyIsE87s0-YJfHktXblYwB5ycFvy1QjH-Lvj_-5vk4Athhk-KacYNNtG1PJiEni_GJRMAk9pYYDsMTyn9Z4abVAD-Glih63UU1Rl2XU5rPyuiuU18Mr913t/s1600/dew+on+web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="877" data-original-width="1441" height="194" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihhfpi8PH9gyiMv5_0kjB9YTyIsE87s0-YJfHktXblYwB5ycFvy1QjH-Lvj_-5vk4Athhk-KacYNNtG1PJiEni_GJRMAk9pYYDsMTyn9Z4abVAD-Glih63UU1Rl2XU5rPyuiuU18Mr913t/s320/dew+on+web.jpg" width="320" /></a> Therefore to keep the mind from being swept away by
discursive thought, we train it to pay attention to one thing. By giving it an object to constantly return
to, it becomes attentive. When the
awareness and attention are working together, the awareness will notice the object
(for example, breath or a flame) and the attention will keep it on the object. More importantly, <b>when the attention wanders
away, the awareness notices and nudges the attention back to the object. </b> <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The repetition of this pattern calms the mind. When the <b>mind calms down, the body relaxes.</b> Currently,
our thoughts drift from one thing to another without awareness. As a result of this mindlessness, we don’t
notice the corresponding tension created in our bodies and minds by our
thoughts. Our anxiety, worry, fear,
pain, and anger are increased because we aren’t aware of the interconnectedness of
our body and mind. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mindfulness meditation brings to the surface of our
awareness the deeper inner workings of mind and body. Such awareness also <b>grows emotional
intelligence and social competence</b>.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Daily activities you can do more mindfully</b>:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span>Sound of
your keys: every time you pick up your
keys, let the sound remind you to notice you are breathing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Put a mindfulness app on your phone which will
gong to remind you to pay attention to your surroundings, your thoughts, and your feelings.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->3.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Every door handle (car, house, mailbox) you
touch, set the intention that you’ll stop and breathe. This is especially helpful at the end of a
hard day’s work. As you turn the handle
on your front door, breathe, drop your worries, and then enter.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->4.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Before you hit the send button on your email,
stop and breathe three times to slow yourself down. This will prevent you from sending something prematurely or when you are upset.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<br /></div>
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I hope the break down of this meditation technique will
empower you to mindfully go through life increasing your own and others' joy. <b>If you’d like to learn mindfulness meditation, I teach at <a href="https://register.asapconnected.com/Courses.aspx?CourseGroupID=17094">CACE</a> on 23 September 2017 and through my own business Acceptance
Healing (email me). </b></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
May your awareness grow from moment to moment. <o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-32772165031141722462017-07-31T07:43:00.001-07:002017-07-31T07:43:33.105-07:00A Conversation about Gossip<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Before you speak,
always ask yourself:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
“is it true, is it
necessary, is it kind?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 2.0in; text-align: center;">
The
Buddha<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2YsNs18DfICIZ760wZwUMqzTgQKmC7fEypOKj7e04dFVMOT6ccogBUl9Lr7yhfuwfAezgSh766RJnbKVUjdUKPu04AXx-T9QE-na4EXe8jpjpO4B1wVVYpWOK1-5AWOiE59PBEO5o7QLj/s1600/20170730_140822.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1301" data-original-width="884" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2YsNs18DfICIZ760wZwUMqzTgQKmC7fEypOKj7e04dFVMOT6ccogBUl9Lr7yhfuwfAezgSh766RJnbKVUjdUKPu04AXx-T9QE-na4EXe8jpjpO4B1wVVYpWOK1-5AWOiE59PBEO5o7QLj/s320/20170730_140822.jpg" width="217" /></a></div>
How does gossip differ from conversation? The distinction may
seem too obvious to warrant deeper analysis. However, even if we are quite clear on the difference, it doesn’t hurt to clarify
again what we already know. For e.g. a silver
vase left untouched on a shelf for years on end will tarnish unless it’s
polished again, so too does our understanding
of things we already know. Therefore a re-view of what we know is essential to
keeping our mind alert, open and bright. By doing this, understanding shifts from
being merely intellectual to becoming experiential.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In our everyday interactions, we can easily slip from conversation
to gossip without awareness. Gossiping’s
most insidious danger is that it can so easily masquerade as normal everyday
conversation. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last weekend a friend came to visit. We are two women who are intensely curious
about life, and we thoroughly enjoy debating and discussing religion, politics,
literature and travel. Of course, we
both also share common friends. After
hours of chatting from Friday afternoon late into the evening, I awoke Saturday
morning startled and ashamed to realise that we’d ended up gossiping about a friend.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
Our socialized upbringing inculcates in us the protocol of
following up a greeting with a query into a person’s health and life situation.
We do this when we are face to face with someone, and if we share mutual
acquaintances, friends or family then we also often ask after people who aren’t
present. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And therein lies the danger.
The seamless transition from curiosity and even perhaps healthy human
interest in another person’s well-being can quickly devolve to tittle tattle. <o:p></o:p>Gossip doesn't only happen in face to face interactions, but can also occur in social media and email settings. <br />
Webster’s dictionary defines gossip as casual unconstrained
conversation about someone else involving details that may be unconfirmed. We often think that gossip is only saying bad
things about a person, sharing private information and lying about the
person. But gossip is also speculating,
wondering about, analyzing and judging someone else, and then sharing those mental
cogitations and opinions with others. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p><br />
Ironically even if we enjoy listening to gossip, we don’t
like to be thought of or think of ourselves as gossip mongers. This is because it harms the speaker, the listener,
and the subject of gossip. It makes the
gossip monger a pariah and untrustworthy; it poisons the mind of the listener,
and can destroy the reputation and good standing of the subject. The effect of gossip spreads quickly like one
tiny drop of black dye in a bucket of clean water, it tints and taints all of the
water.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So how do we undo this destructive habit?<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixBLhXQYKXmtk3foRzvULnZsStzwUm1vZxAuIsG9ayQduxWX4NvGq0uqfDPfSMQPdidON_bkiZnC57326JF8Je8bOWpkQtkG8q_bxo2cFoBYSdhTu1RH9qvpyxn8iwKSwziCAV2xEatwCc/s1600/20170720_111701.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixBLhXQYKXmtk3foRzvULnZsStzwUm1vZxAuIsG9ayQduxWX4NvGq0uqfDPfSMQPdidON_bkiZnC57326JF8Je8bOWpkQtkG8q_bxo2cFoBYSdhTu1RH9qvpyxn8iwKSwziCAV2xEatwCc/s320/20170720_111701.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The “I” word is paramount – Intention. Know your intention for speaking about
someone else. Sometimes you really do
need to solicit confidential advice from another person regarding someone you
are concerned about. But you have to be
absolutely clear on your intention for speaking about the other person. To check your motivation, ask yourself: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Will I say this to the person’s face?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Will this hurt that person?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->3.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Is this true?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->4.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Is this necessary?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->5.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Is it helpful?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The second important step is to become alert and mindful during
the conversation to catch when the discussion is slipping into the danger
zone. So then you must:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]--> Listen to
yourself and the person with whom you are speaking. Notice the types of questions being asked and recurring topics. Determine if these are simply creating or enlarging an unconfirmed story
about someone else. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->When you are on your own, try to become aware of
your own thoughts. This is particularly important
if you have an issue with someone. Do your best not to ruminate and replay conversations in your
head. Ruminations entrench a story line in
your mind about the person, and cause you to speak about him/her at the first
opportunity, especially if someone else has a problem with that same
person.<br />
<span style="text-indent: 31.5pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="text-indent: 31.5pt;">Gossiping isn’t
an easy habit to break. But it is a
habit and as such it can be worked on.
Even if we don’t totally eradicate the habit, our consistent effort to avoid it will be hugely beneficial. So the
next time you sit down with a friend for a catch up - on the phone or in person - be mindful of your speech and aware of your intention.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt; text-indent: 31.5pt;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt; text-indent: 31.5pt;">
Know that if
you’ve formed a friendship around gossiping, then this change in your behavior could impact that relationship. It may leave you open to becoming the brunt of gossip. Here again your motivation for changing this unhealthy habit will
help you negotiate your path forward to happier and kinder way of living.<o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="text-indent: 0px;">When we are rejoicing and genuinely happy for someone's success and appreciative of their good qualities, then even though we may be speaking about the person, it isn't gossip. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt; text-indent: 31.5pt;">
May you always speak
with awareness and kindness.<o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-88066601293896215672017-05-31T08:23:00.000-07:002017-05-31T08:23:27.715-07:00Ending the Habit of Envying<div class="MsoNormal">
What goes through your mind when you think of or look at
someone who has power, status, money, good looks, and talent? What feelings course through your being? Take a moment now and contemplate those questions…
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you desire what they have, you <b>envy them</b>. Envy is being unhappy at another person’s
success, and consequently feeling sad because we think we are deficient or
lacking. This habit can lead to depression.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It can also lead us <b>to do and think horrible things</b>. We will hate their success, and wish for them to fail. To
make ourselves feel better, we will denigrate or insult the person who has what
we want, or we’ll boast and praise ourselves. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhirUZbzBM5VOIOo7rTRDgU_3Msz-t-O5IwbRfzgSiIMcHSBNH5p2-B2eMjak3rM2ikwgoC5dsKA2pWK3uoroKYibJqwffjaZQ_y1gNK3tBkjAUOqsKnJtRsJvMjVaFg8AGY01XSxCAeQg9/s1600/20161202_145838.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhirUZbzBM5VOIOo7rTRDgU_3Msz-t-O5IwbRfzgSiIMcHSBNH5p2-B2eMjak3rM2ikwgoC5dsKA2pWK3uoroKYibJqwffjaZQ_y1gNK3tBkjAUOqsKnJtRsJvMjVaFg8AGY01XSxCAeQg9/s320/20161202_145838.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Envy<b> breeds comparison and competition</b> in us. We compare ourselves to someone and think that
person’s life is the way we imagine it.
No one’s life is without struggles and problems, but under the influence
of envy, our mind becomes deluded and we think how their lives appear to us is the reality.</div>
<br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
We don’t just envy
anybody. We envy the people <b>who possess some
limited scarce resource that we covet.</b> This
makes us competitive. Envy’s destruction
isn’t limited to other people, it harms us too.
We can end up hating ourselves as much as we do the other person.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My 12 year old nephew was telling me that he and his friends were
going to the mall on Saturday, and that they were going to be there as soon as
it opened. They needed to be first in
line to get these very popular white sneakers which sold out quickly. He said that they’d learned the stores wouldn’t
put out additional sneakers once the first batch was sold. Listening to him, I could tell how important
it was for them to be the ones who owned these much-desired, limited-stock shoes.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You can see <b>how exhausting this constant competing and comparing</b>
can be. The habit of envying is a poison that destroys our ability to appreciate ourselves, and to see the value in
our own lives. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To reverse the
negativity and corrosiveness of envy, try to :<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]--> Pay
attention to <b>what is going well in your life</b>:
you have pets, friends and loved ones who care for you, you have a home
that’s comfortable and safe, a job that brings in a paycheck, things you are
good at and admired for, and the support of people who’ve helped you in your career.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 0in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirZ4FIdPJyWu7cZz9XrgN-ZoMQVeIU2pvQS5sFpDGRKK9ed5J_JRWckR_28UcqJN-i13XjDEb1XetgmIgxqyaRnPQaF1Ts3oI3u6N4KKdWWhckBQHmDCpg5ETPQvX6VHX6CEl0PewFK2-U/s1600/dragonfly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1340" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirZ4FIdPJyWu7cZz9XrgN-ZoMQVeIU2pvQS5sFpDGRKK9ed5J_JRWckR_28UcqJN-i13XjDEb1XetgmIgxqyaRnPQaF1Ts3oI3u6N4KKdWWhckBQHmDCpg5ETPQvX6VHX6CEl0PewFK2-U/s320/dragonfly.jpg" width="268" /></a><i>For example, the next
time you are in a queue or traffic jam, instead of cursing that fact, consider
that if these people weren’t here too, this shop or freeway wouldn’t have been
built. It is precisely because there
were so many people who needed it, that you can now also get to shop there or can
quickly (most of the time) travel to places you need to. So it is the
contribution of all these strangers that is bringing value to your life as well. </i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]--><b>rejoice when someone else gets the thing you
ALSO wanted</b> : the co-worker who is
promoted, or the friend who wins the lottery. Rejoicing may not be easy and not feel authentic in the beginning, but keep persevering and with practise it will become a genuine feeling. This will create a good habit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->3.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> <b>
</b></span><!--[endif]--><b>rejoice in your successes and abilities.</b> And don’t forget to celebrate your willingness
to break free from the destructive habit of envy. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When you <b>celebrate
someone else’s triumphs, you benefit </b>too.
Genuinely wishing others well<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->creates feelings of well-being in yourself<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->frees you from the bondage of competition<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->3.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->gives you the opportunity to practice kindness
and generosity towards others and yourself.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->4.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->helps you accept yourself<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->5.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->spares you from feeling depressed and sad<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->6.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->creates a new beneficial habit in your life<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->7.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->helps you see life clearly.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="text-indent: 0in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="text-indent: 0in;">Ending this habit of envying is definitely worth the effort it will take. If you can't immediately begin celebrating others' triumphs, then start with yourself and your victories. All the best. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="text-indent: 0in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="text-indent: 0in;">May you rejoice in yours and others good fortune.</span><span style="text-indent: 0in;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 0in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-86847806149690379832017-04-29T15:16:00.000-07:002017-04-29T15:16:56.717-07:00How to Be Happy<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
As long as a society
protects… the vulnerable among them, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
[it] can be expected
to prosper and not decline. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
The Buddha, Mahaparinirvana Sutta<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My 95 year old friend in South Africa was telling me about
the bird lice infestation of her tiny apartment, and the bites and rashes she was
suffering all over her face and chest. She’d
found half a bird’s nest behind her wardrobe, and while trying to move the
wardrobe, it fell apart because termites had eaten through it. Too afraid to sleep on her infested bed, she
asked the manager of her old-age-home complex if she could sleep in one of the
vacant flats while her place was being fumigated; the person said no. So she ended up sleeping, for a few nights,
in a chair out in a cold corridor leading to her flat. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I was speaking to her, she was sitting in the armchair
in the midst of her devastated home: her clothes lying outside near her front
door, and her other possessions strewn around her. She said to me in an exhausted voice: “I wish
I could die”. This feisty intelligent
woman wanted to report the incident to the local newspaper, but was also afraid
to make a fuss because she could be kicked out of her home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhTsB75coB7jnVLaiCpa40-V-NSk5wsMAZAiTQJxTv3xQok4MjvRYBgNEVIRi-Hu2nKLXqKN0M_IVWhaqKks1R5RmSy-p0Xdvye0IX0nenF2qcAQHCK-tIY2AWuYeapHSnUmC-mM2B3ip0/s1600/20170414_120052.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhTsB75coB7jnVLaiCpa40-V-NSk5wsMAZAiTQJxTv3xQok4MjvRYBgNEVIRi-Hu2nKLXqKN0M_IVWhaqKks1R5RmSy-p0Xdvye0IX0nenF2qcAQHCK-tIY2AWuYeapHSnUmC-mM2B3ip0/s320/20170414_120052.jpg" width="320" /></a> This heartbreaking struggle of the elderly to keep a home,
survive, be seen and respected is occurring in California too. Here seniors have to choose between paying for
rent, for medical expenses, or eating.
Landlords force out lower-rent-paying seniors to get in higher paying
renters, which unfortunately makes seniors destitute. What does the ill treatment of our most
vulnerable populations: the elderly, the young, and ill within our society say
about us? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then this week the White House proposed an almost 20% tax
cut for corporations. Budget proposals
have already been announced to cut social service programs like “Meals on Wheels”,
children’s school lunches, and women’s health services. Not to mention the devastating budget cut to the
Environmental Protection Agency. This means money will be given back to
businesses, and taken away from the neediest populations.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are interdependent beings who live on one planet. The fate of one affects us all. If you suffer, I suffer. If the planet is ill, I’m ill. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Everything we do and, for that matter, all we buy is so we
can be happy. Contrary to common belief,
to become truly happy, we should think of others. This is counter intuitive but here’s how it
works. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All beings want to be happy. No one wants to suffer and yet
we all do. </div>
When we think only of ourselves, we become unhappy. This doesn’t mean we should never think of
ourselves, or always prioritise others needs over our own. Our responsibility is also to take care of
our survival. But if we focus only on
always fulfilling our own desires and wants over the needs of others, then we
inadvertently increase our suffering.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Desire breeds more desire.
We know how quickly the glow fades after a purchase of a new car, or
handbag or after a delicious meal or fancy holiday. The happiness we gain from possessions and
externally is by nature temporary: company shareholders always wanting bigger
profits, children wanting more toys and games, parents wanting the latest
gadgets and fashions and on it goes. When our desire for more, bigger and
better overruns our willingness to share, aid and benefit the less fortunate,
then we grow increasingly unhappy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our ego and its wishes become primary when we cherish
ourselves. This mindset makes us greedy,
competitive, possessive, and aggressive in our struggle to have the most, and
remain the best. To maintain position,
possessions and power, we lie, cheat, steal and so on. This drive increases our
misery because we are constantly worried and agitated about losing what we have.
Ironically, we set out trying to achieve
whatever it is we think will make us happy, and inadvertently increase our suffering.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3b2iG2tSC60hEy1hvDGYNXzepS9kcCqV_2JKSTMxox9qN_g1yZhbaELtDxy6XjfACnd-aZtkP0hMVAk3G16tDRU2rxCPR6QSOMqEhilyIxALFiuuCtO9sTBWFV1Z9ZaVEWKWMRIIKv_wt/s1600/lotus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3b2iG2tSC60hEy1hvDGYNXzepS9kcCqV_2JKSTMxox9qN_g1yZhbaELtDxy6XjfACnd-aZtkP0hMVAk3G16tDRU2rxCPR6QSOMqEhilyIxALFiuuCtO9sTBWFV1Z9ZaVEWKWMRIIKv_wt/s320/lotus.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the other hand, our sense of well-being, peace and joy
increases when we help others. Reflect
back on the times when you were most satisfied, pleased and happy. Most often it is when we did something nice
for someone, or lifted up another person.
Notice your feelings the next time you allow someone to go ahead of you
in a queue, or you help a coworker on a project, or you cook a meal for your
sick neighbor, or you give someone the benefit of the doubt. These concessions don’t diminish us. They reveal our innate compassion. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As social animals, compassion is in our nature. When our mind and heart expands, we naturally
open up, connect and stretch beyond our comfort zone. We recognize the pain and feelings of our
fellow beings because it is our shared human experience. At the end of the day, we are all struggling
to rise above the pain of living in a world that is unsettling and
challenging. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If we tap into our deepest self, we’ll reconnect with our
natural empathy, kindness and compassion.
After all, our shared experience is both pain and joy. Our willingness to honour this side of our
nature will not only make a difference in someone’s life but will also bring us
joy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
May your compassion bring you lasting peace and happiness.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-63797810843455911232017-03-30T19:10:00.000-07:002017-03-30T19:10:50.699-07:00Managing Anger in Stressful Times<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje4RTGMExyBWtbdURXpp2nbn-NFQagEbSFCIUJlp2gchaWGXryzUSol42fbfx5UUjkzV-tDQX-rb_iVFYI9gEC6dwROdhTWMzRZZFFD17BN4VqLwN5m09JGHHkhDZPrKicX2oVARqn9XhB/s1600/IMG_1712.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje4RTGMExyBWtbdURXpp2nbn-NFQagEbSFCIUJlp2gchaWGXryzUSol42fbfx5UUjkzV-tDQX-rb_iVFYI9gEC6dwROdhTWMzRZZFFD17BN4VqLwN5m09JGHHkhDZPrKicX2oVARqn9XhB/s320/IMG_1712.JPG" width="320" /></a> The other day at Home Depot, two men got into a heated argument over
who had broken the queue. One of the
men, a giant over 6ft, stalked over to the shorter man, and looming over him challenged
and swore him. The shorter man, visibly
pale, but furious tried to act macho as he weakly parried insult for
insult. I watched horror stricken,
hoping they wouldn’t come to blows. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I was in India a couple of months ago, I got into an argument with a few people who I thought were trying to cheat me. I related this incident to students in my
meditation class. One student asked me
if I felt good after angrily telling them off.
I said no because I was embarrassed at having forgotten my training and
losing my cool. And my ranting hadn’t changed
the outcome. The futility of anger is
clarified in this quote by the 8<sup>th </sup>Century Indian Buddhist monk
Shantideva: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b> “If something can be remedied,
why get upset? <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b> If something can’t be remedied,
why get upset?” <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Venting my anger had only succeeded in making my body
tremble, heart race, and left me feeling exhausted and impotent. I had wasted energy but had achieved nothing of
benefit. I could tell my answer hadn’t
satisfied her or many other students. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve since thought more about her question. We assume that when we vent our anger we are
at least not letting ourselves be taken advantage of and we are fighting
back. These were certainly the thoughts
and feelings flashing through me during my Indian altercation. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are living in challenging times in a world and country that’s polarized, where
distrust and distress are growing every day. With the daily onslaught to our civil
and social rights and the loss of human life in racial attacks, there's good reason to be upset, but we should be careful not to vent our anger. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM08wYmDdOn2-Lo-OZzHdWoHHL4237nqoravcypW85SBbBNF4V2FrHDQ5IKaJ44gijHMsz4qHfPanFHqavJ7e6F_ybOK1yY-cedET6YIklb50bgREYshiJ61BJws-yhxoJZLatw4bg-cc8/s1600/IMG_1683.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM08wYmDdOn2-Lo-OZzHdWoHHL4237nqoravcypW85SBbBNF4V2FrHDQ5IKaJ44gijHMsz4qHfPanFHqavJ7e6F_ybOK1yY-cedET6YIklb50bgREYshiJ61BJws-yhxoJZLatw4bg-cc8/s320/IMG_1683.JPG" width="320" /></a> Anger isn’t bad, but it is unhealthy. Sometimes it is justified. The trouble with
it though is that even if the anger is valid, becoming enraged is not a skillful response.
Anger can make us feel powerful. And while it may occasionally get us what we
want, as a long term strategy for dealing with frustration it isn’t effective. Anger
is destructive to ourselves and others. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b> The Buddha said, “we
will NOT BE punished FOR our anger but BY our anger.” <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If we use lashing out, avenging, or swearing as a response
in stressful times, we strengthen the habit.
As the habit strengthens, our tolerance weakens, and it will take less and less to upset us. Then
the time and space in which to process and decide how to act will drastically
decrease. And so this spiral will
tighten. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A mindful attitude can <b>reduce
the duration and level of our anger</b>.
Begin by: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]-->Noticing you are feeling a strong emotion and acknowledge
it as anger – “I am feeling angry”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Identify the bodily sensations accompanying
anger: rapid heart rate and breathing,
flushed face, tight stomach and fists, sweating palms etc.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Pay attention to the kind of thoughts you are
having (it’s others fault, “always” statements, “I know you think”…etc). Such thoughts fuel our anger. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Accept your anger; this will help you manage it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Try and separate from the emotion and the situation. Create distance between yourself and the
thoughts and the people you are upset with. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Breathe deeply into your belly and count to ten to create distance between your thoughts and emotions <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Imagine yourself getting calmer; see the anger
dissolving. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Reigning in the anger habit is difficult. It will take time, so be patient with
yourself. Know that you will forget and
react in a habitual way. Practise self-forgiveness. And remember constant practice will bring about
the desired change. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
May you be free from anger’s destruction.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-15642385501676832402017-02-28T11:15:00.001-08:002017-02-28T11:15:24.123-08:00Replace Worry with these Two Meditations<div class="MsoNormal">
A couple of weeks ago my cousin’s leg had to be
amputated. She had just turned 42. Thinking she was being admitted to have her
toe removed, she was told her foot will have to be taken off instead. After that operation, she learned her leg had
to be amputated. With my cousin in South Africa, and me in the U.S., I found
worrying about her didn’t help. All it
did, was leave me exhausted from lying awake imagining her fear and worry.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Worrying contrary to belief doesn’t prevent our worst
imaginings from occurring or from some tragedy worsening. It does, however, increase our anxiety. We may be accustomed to worrying but may not
know its definition: worrying is being
deeply concerned about a problem or a situation where our thoughts are looping
around “what’s going to happen?” These
kinds of thoughts increase anxiety. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjbDZ7zajcYVGQFan58Klhq-B5MMSpERLW-bmA3C3Q-j6c6PoJ_XoZrxjaZtG3MbVjWbnEPGUgmH15sLJqcBQqjI8fiLucW5KYJBza5Le1tpd2Sur88pkrRp_JzFYczX37FK29Y54fBSdn/s1600/20170110_064643.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjbDZ7zajcYVGQFan58Klhq-B5MMSpERLW-bmA3C3Q-j6c6PoJ_XoZrxjaZtG3MbVjWbnEPGUgmH15sLJqcBQqjI8fiLucW5KYJBza5Le1tpd2Sur88pkrRp_JzFYczX37FK29Y54fBSdn/s320/20170110_064643.jpg" width="180" /></a> Stress causes us to
become anxious, and in small doses is considered normal even a healthy response. But worrying too much causes us to overreact
to stress or any uncertainty, and that is detrimental to our overall
health. We lose sleep, appetite, the
ability to enjoy what happening in our lives, and the ability to be present. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I decided to redirect my energies to more beneficial practices
instead. I chose to do two kinds of
meditation for my cousin. These are
compassion and loving kindness meditations.
As our country and the world is in turmoil now, we can choose to do these meditations for all
the people who are suffering fear, worry, sadness, anger, and disappointment in
this uncertain time, as well. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Both these
meditations can be challenging. They
could bring up our own feelings of fear, anger and resistance. <b>It is important to do ONLY what you are able
to do.</b> Go slowly. If you encounter a mental or emotional block
to doing these practices for someone else, then make yourself the object of the
meditation. Extend kindness and
compassion towards yourself and consider all the people who may also feel as
you do. Be gentle and mindful as you undertake these
practices.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Loving Kindness
Meditation</b>: (Mentally repeating good
wishes for someone). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Sit in in meditation to calm your mind for a few
minutes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Bring to mind someone or something you care for
deeply. Feel a warmth or tenderness arise
in your being. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Then imagine the person or situation you’d like
to extend loving kindness to.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Strengthen the feeling of love, warmth,
tenderness by repeating 2 or 3 phrases. For
e.g. “May _______ be free from pain”, “May ______ enjoy peace and support”, “May
______feel strong and healthy”. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->We can also extend such heartfelt wishes to our fellow
countrymen (and women) who are struggling with anxiety and
fear. “May our country be at peace”, “May all people
be free from fear and worry”, “May we practice tolerance and kindness for each
other” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Do this for about 5-10 minutes at the end of a
sitting meditation practice. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Tonglen:</b> (Taking
and Sending Meditation)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This compassion
meditation strongly awakens our ability to feel and take on the suffering and
pain of others. It challenges our
tendency to reactively avoid the unpleasant and only grasp the pleasant. The practice is to breathe in the suffering of
another person, and send out relief and benefit to the person on an
exhalation. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjdxNp7Z3HgYWCOtuVH1hBZhzKXriC4srvmeApZFr3IKCBMVLCVR6IXtICtbM61FkziyW66GMRZJ6YeXBQHcmRQxHJ56SM8aSYuRW51W-6m5aPs2F5LEQgworrREGGEXVB1nQ2PLchBI86/s1600/20170111_175648.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjdxNp7Z3HgYWCOtuVH1hBZhzKXriC4srvmeApZFr3IKCBMVLCVR6IXtICtbM61FkziyW66GMRZJ6YeXBQHcmRQxHJ56SM8aSYuRW51W-6m5aPs2F5LEQgworrREGGEXVB1nQ2PLchBI86/s320/20170111_175648.jpg" width="180" /></a> Do this meditation for the ill, a person in pain, and
someone who is dying or dead. You can do it for yourself when you are in
pain. Tonglen can be done in sitting
practice or on the spot anywhere anytime.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Sit in meditation for a few minutes to calm and
clear the mind. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--> Then
visualize the person or situation. Imagine
that person’s fear and pain as heavy, dark and hot. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Breathe in that heavy dark heat – and breathe
out light, peaceful, airy coolness. Feel
the texture of your inhalation and exhalation. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Visualise the fear, sadness, anger coming in
through your pores and emanate beneficial positive energy through your pores
and nostrils. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->After your inhalation and exhalation are in
rhythm with your visualization, expand your wish to relieve the suffering of
all people who may share this pain. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Take in the pain of all the people and send all
of them relief.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Do this for about 7-10minutes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Sit in calm abiding meditation for a few minutes
to clear your heart mind.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Practise these techniques anytime you feel especially rigid
in your thoughts, feelings or when worry is beginning to set in. <b>Doing these practices empowers us to be a comfort
and strength to the people and situations that need us. </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
May we be calm and centered to help those in need.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-11906575454548405242016-12-21T16:26:00.003-08:002016-12-21T16:26:56.444-08:00Seasons Greetings<h4 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">May you be filled with peace</span></h4>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">May you experience joy</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">May you have a loved-filled holiday season </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And all the very best for 2017!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTb_XHLN27auMj65fkt6H0RS1em6B0vC1Lva_exxEUHDzXRhthKNlpCenEpBJgki8CG1yCfXGlP-Ojjy_8Zys4bq6FW05UyxxJ1uNihVMytFoq9k_-YhMgbMDjf_NSfHODHSvKQo7RQ6Yf/s1600/20161014_173944.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTb_XHLN27auMj65fkt6H0RS1em6B0vC1Lva_exxEUHDzXRhthKNlpCenEpBJgki8CG1yCfXGlP-Ojjy_8Zys4bq6FW05UyxxJ1uNihVMytFoq9k_-YhMgbMDjf_NSfHODHSvKQo7RQ6Yf/s320/20161014_173944.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-78512653196403512572016-12-19T08:06:00.001-08:002016-12-19T08:06:20.665-08:00The Present of Kindness<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO03PgRh_i0HUJvIWsmIvXEwEY_0m4et0_Upu50GsFFty5_tvFhM5IWHKSz9JSwNtKJMn-afSkQaa9h5Z2BPzG2y997260HyK6IlyaxbfF-MlTp1gUgmhmfRp_juWgSSe5aSxIT0051PUK/s1600/cards%252C+girls%252C+mammoth+115.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO03PgRh_i0HUJvIWsmIvXEwEY_0m4et0_Upu50GsFFty5_tvFhM5IWHKSz9JSwNtKJMn-afSkQaa9h5Z2BPzG2y997260HyK6IlyaxbfF-MlTp1gUgmhmfRp_juWgSSe5aSxIT0051PUK/s320/cards%252C+girls%252C+mammoth+115.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I wish I had told my mother that she had been kind instead
of telling her we’d never practiced kindness in our family. She died over 2 years ago. Now I see that she had, in fact, been
incredibly kind. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Recently I bought an Instapot. I could never, ever have imagined myself using
a pressure cooker. They've always terrified me. A few
minutes ago, I walked away from trying to write an article to check on the pot. I was
amazed at how blithely I flicked the dial to one side to vent it before opening
the lid (my ease arises from knowing the pot has 10 built-in safety features).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The sound of the escaping pressure brought my mother to mind. She had cooked countless of my childhood
meals in a pressure pot. The nerve-rattling
shrieks and whistles of the old fashioned pressure pots, which she used on a regular coal stove burning anthracite coal (not easy to do), forms the background sound of my mother’s cooking and our
home life. As I reflect now, I see her kindness was as unconventional and
delicious as her cooking. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Love for her was not in hugging and kissing her children. Kindness
wasn’t in telling us nice things about ourselves, or for that matter even being encouraging when she disagreed with us. Kindness for her was in toughening up her daughters, and placing a dish on the
dinner table, perhaps a few days or weeks later, which you, in passing, had said
you craved. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoFT5t1COxPUUJawC1qwgoyP0ERJXfPKbpjmIPbbmj9FgLwK2KuReraJPAx-m1b70RqujU_1SxKhlOI8Z7Np7LE7ttn9nab7ZWEGjHqFRrnkH7ij2ok1OgHgfGggUF8LfzSiuYpQeKS6h6/s1600/cards%252C+girls%252C+mammoth+258.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoFT5t1COxPUUJawC1qwgoyP0ERJXfPKbpjmIPbbmj9FgLwK2KuReraJPAx-m1b70RqujU_1SxKhlOI8Z7Np7LE7ttn9nab7ZWEGjHqFRrnkH7ij2ok1OgHgfGggUF8LfzSiuYpQeKS6h6/s320/cards%252C+girls%252C+mammoth+258.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
We don’t often reflect on the kindness of others in our
lives. The sad thing is: if our ideas of people and things are too
rigid, then we won't clearly see all of them. Human beings are able to hear many octaves of sound, but are only able
to see one octave of light called visible/rainbow light. This means we don’t see infrared,
ultraviolet, or microwave light and so on. They exist but we are blind to
them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If our view or idea of kindness is limited, then we will
fail to see when others are being kind to us.
Kindness comes in many forms. It
can be someone bringing in the mail, returning the trashcans to the side yard,
picking up a loaf of bread from the grocery store, bringing you the towel you
forgot, turning on the front light when you come home, and the list goes
on. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The kindness of others surrounds us, but we have to train
ourselves to see its wider spectrum. Things
within your reach right now are there because of the kindness of someone in
this world. They may be on the other
side of the planet or in your neighbourhood, but somebody
made the chair you are sitting on, built the device you are reading this article on, the plate you are eating off, harvested the vegetable
you are cooking, built the telephone you are speaking on and the house you are
sheltering in, and sewed the clothes you are wearing. These people may have been paid to do a job,
but they also contributed their energy, creativity, and passion to eventually help
you live a more easeful happy life. This
is kindness. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1pGocgajiTnScA7O4656neB2bs65NxoDsmL9_rN87LlThps2cskXMfGTedL_yrSC8zEbCIMEjAmro2QfcTBUsRNRpg9WiLILRsETK7OqSV_Hn5CWjfGdLdDguDhFi2C3m8d7j1U3VZcV_/s1600/20161121_092259-001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="154" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1pGocgajiTnScA7O4656neB2bs65NxoDsmL9_rN87LlThps2cskXMfGTedL_yrSC8zEbCIMEjAmro2QfcTBUsRNRpg9WiLILRsETK7OqSV_Hn5CWjfGdLdDguDhFi2C3m8d7j1U3VZcV_/s320/20161121_092259-001.jpg" width="320" /></a> So this holiday season, when things aren't going as we'd like, or we are invariably presented
with gifts we won’t use or don’t like, we can instead focus on the kindness of
the grandmother, aunt or friend who prepared the holiday get-together, or took the time to shop, wrap, and share
something that they thought will bring us joy. Our forebearance could be the gift of kindness we can present to them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
May you have a peaceful and grateful holiday season. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-30049171294496955032016-11-18T14:48:00.002-08:002016-11-18T14:48:23.329-08:00Crying and Crowing with Wisdom<div class="MsoNormal">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK-aLe_MDzQdsBRbtKJWS6KPE3u-E1i_f_CaquWARhF-T-cbD6000xhkrYir_IR_Aa9zfe9EUN35odJcR2OSysi5_T0I7dfIvv2XxxE-0PbRCZqxmanT3YkzTpHjckJk_CLrYIoYMLnNsi/s1600/IMG_1717-001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK-aLe_MDzQdsBRbtKJWS6KPE3u-E1i_f_CaquWARhF-T-cbD6000xhkrYir_IR_Aa9zfe9EUN35odJcR2OSysi5_T0I7dfIvv2XxxE-0PbRCZqxmanT3YkzTpHjckJk_CLrYIoYMLnNsi/s320/IMG_1717-001.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Snow on Flowers</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The election results shocked many of us. For the people who got the results they desired
they are crowing while those who didn’t are crying. Our world is filled with joy and pain. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Change is never easy.
<b>Its arrival awakens suffering in us especially when the change we want
doesn’t materialize, and the change we don’t wants arrives anyway.</b> Such suffering is the human condition. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJIbSsjkaTNTln3a4ZOT1229Z4cA6Bjs6uwfQsG5OpA8JEW6tEdl0MLaljvqXmKG_bEnRE52bZfVLQOcl16IE_G7InWEJxzFsNbuFy4Hb0gaM1wiunChMUq3iKTq5YEW_3effECflPnWDh/s1600/20160816_094919_001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJIbSsjkaTNTln3a4ZOT1229Z4cA6Bjs6uwfQsG5OpA8JEW6tEdl0MLaljvqXmKG_bEnRE52bZfVLQOcl16IE_G7InWEJxzFsNbuFy4Hb0gaM1wiunChMUq3iKTq5YEW_3effECflPnWDh/s320/20160816_094919_001.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beautiful Together</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
What matters now is deciding how we can contribute to
creating a positive energy that avoids putting each other into “us” and “them”
camps. The campaigns set out to put us asunder;
they highlighted our seeming differences and alien statuses.<br />
Moving beyond such arbitrary and illusory difference is
especially important now, so that we can repair and heal the hurt we are all feeling. <b>At this crossroads of change, each and every one of us can be a pivotal force for positive change.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To lessen the aggression and hate, we need to bring our
attention back to ourselves and check in there first. <b>How much aggression is in our thoughts,
speech and action?</b> How much are we contributing to the poison percolating
throughout society and the media? As we can only control ourselves, this is our
place of personal power. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>The task before us is to be with our pain and act in
ways that will bridge the divide by being generous, calm, open minded, and
especially skillful in our interactions with ourselves and others. </b>When
interacting with particularly those people we believe to be different, we can
choose to truly listen, put aside our views, not assume their motive, and remain
hopeful. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7D9ZE-Iq8GWMTACh_gC18O4t3Qog8oaAwpErZwV4cYH6Ghs2bR96vnUJAtD84hH0wWzxMrQYqecJkFW1kdqAB37eXU51ZjCM6trVTs3liKz3Jb5eGbClewYWjG48WAcc96P4KedyCcsEO/s1600/IMG_1810.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7D9ZE-Iq8GWMTACh_gC18O4t3Qog8oaAwpErZwV4cYH6Ghs2bR96vnUJAtD84hH0wWzxMrQYqecJkFW1kdqAB37eXU51ZjCM6trVTs3liKz3Jb5eGbClewYWjG48WAcc96P4KedyCcsEO/s320/IMG_1810.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Add caption</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
If we choose civility in our everyday interactions then we’ll
be acting a core principle of citizenry.
<b>Treating each other with respect, in the way we’d like to be treated is
the basis for civilized society. After
all, no one, not one single being wants to suffer; all strive for happiness, just
as we do. </b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are powerful. Something
as little as a smile can bring change. <b>
If each of us practices a little bit of tolerance, understanding and
patience, together we’ll create nationwide and ultimately worldwide change. </b> We live in one country, on one planet. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, <b>all
beings are connected to each other</b> through the environment, politics, biology, and spirit. It is in our own interest
and the greater good that we make the effort to reach out to each other in this
difficult time. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The difference between a world filled with hate,
divisiveness, anger and hatred, and one filled with hope, open mindedness,
kindness and peace lies with each and every one of us.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
May you be filled with peace.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-20017944259873827312016-10-31T13:18:00.000-07:002016-10-31T13:18:02.376-07:00Why Concentration is So Important<div class="MsoNormal">
Many people are put off by the thought of meditating. They can’t imagine sitting still and being
with themselves for any length of time. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjurV7w4mvA1EnLEPW94-l8U4wOhRDK1nT8PRcNeokakFzT0fIujkvklEOXJrk8ql1sEvYz0XXmOL26MNfQv7cm-sXrYkNG2rV6DCn1C62Ir0vfNw-dHNk8eMIA-ZdddFZ7E2wtlbKHm3H/s1600/20160611_095540-001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjurV7w4mvA1EnLEPW94-l8U4wOhRDK1nT8PRcNeokakFzT0fIujkvklEOXJrk8ql1sEvYz0XXmOL26MNfQv7cm-sXrYkNG2rV6DCn1C62Ir0vfNw-dHNk8eMIA-ZdddFZ7E2wtlbKHm3H/s320/20160611_095540-001.jpg" width="283" /></a> It’s not
easy or always pleasant spending time in the company of one’s own mind. It
takes courage and a willingness to observe our habits,
thoughts, emotions, and tendencies. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, the value of getting to know your mind outweighs this
initial discomfort. The benefits of meditation are splayed all over the internet so I won’t go
into it here. But learning to concentrate
the mind is a supreme skill with effects that spread far beyond the meditation
cushion. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A life-changing reason for learning and committing to a concentration-building practice is that it will help with being more focused and present in life. Students in my
meditation classes almost always cite distractibility and the inability to be
in the present moment, which causes them stress and anxiety, as the main reason
for coming to a meditation class. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are many kinds
of meditations with many purposes. The
concentration or attention building techniques used particularly in
mindfulness meditation is an important one to learn. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s why.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWvhOWNSl45K5Cgk0zzhZqCkC6DSaZckeXE3qrRVUEUYy2Gb8lDzi8akLi3TnRhWOF6j3UqEFMshhGbP__q33reFMy6eRU3fsY0iO5XWqLuHyEDzmB6xVPbj2_hH1MM52bQ_Jjefzw-q_0/s1600/20160803_092855-001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWvhOWNSl45K5Cgk0zzhZqCkC6DSaZckeXE3qrRVUEUYy2Gb8lDzi8akLi3TnRhWOF6j3UqEFMshhGbP__q33reFMy6eRU3fsY0iO5XWqLuHyEDzmB6xVPbj2_hH1MM52bQ_Jjefzw-q_0/s320/20160803_092855-001.jpg" width="127" /></a> Our experience of life is created by and through our
mind. So if all of our life experiences
– pleasant, unpleasant or neutral -- is a product of our minds, projected through our minds, and is interpreted by our minds, then it makes sense to get to intimately know the
consciousness that is responsible for all we undergo in our lives. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We all know how stressed and anxious we feel when we are at the
mercy of our mind as it flits from one thing to the next. We are trying to work on a report and our
mind switches to worrying about next week’s meeting, or to what’s for dinner,
or to wondering if we turned off the stove, or to recalling a dream. It’s
exhausting!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Therefore the skill or ability to willfully direct and keep
our minds on a chosen object is crucial in being mentally, emotionally and
physically healthy. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Meditation trains the mind to be concentrated and pliable to
our will. We train in controlling it
rather than it controlling us. We know
our minds are tamer or are tamed when we direct it to a subject and it’s able to
remain on it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To do that we need
to learn how to relax first. Too much
effort can stir up the mind. It’s a fine
balance between trying but not struggling. <br />
So we sit calmly with the intention that we’ll simply observe what the
mind does. We give it a job of being
aware of the breath and then notice when it leaves the breath to worry or
fantasize about something else. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Remaining observant and not getting disappointed or upset when
the mind wanders is especially important. The task
is to simply and gently bring it back to the breath when it wanders away. The repetition of this process, done with curious interest into the antics of your mind, will over time make it more pliable to your will. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPt6-QsGkNI7TBX1aSfQoj0PW2628fk_nT_UGjVa78aOOTF587PBxl_oMTtyFFDyDFgo8vKhV4ULATuzf7hI02zW0Y1jKhszyE1UcstsBZ3kasrY2XH3yt7U9VzLKf0glZuc71hBcjGTqt/s1600/20161014_174040.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPt6-QsGkNI7TBX1aSfQoj0PW2628fk_nT_UGjVa78aOOTF587PBxl_oMTtyFFDyDFgo8vKhV4ULATuzf7hI02zW0Y1jKhszyE1UcstsBZ3kasrY2XH3yt7U9VzLKf0glZuc71hBcjGTqt/s320/20161014_174040.jpg" width="180" /></a> When the mind becomes calmer or concentrated, we are able to
see more clearly. This may illustrate
the point. If the waters of a pond are
stirred up (as our minds usually are), we won’t be able to clearly see the bottom or the plant and fish
life in it. But if the waters are calm,
then we can see to the bottom and also see the clarity of the water. In the same way, when our minds are calmer
and clearer through concentration practice, we are more acutely able to observe
ourselves, others, and life experiences. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then we can see the effect of our thoughts, speech and actions on ourselves and those around us. For most of us currently, much of our mind’s working is hidden from us, and we mindlessly follow our thoughts.<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Starting with just five minutes a day, we can begin to make
friends with this most important part of ourselves that is running our
lives. Grab the opportunity to familiarize
yourself with your mind. You’ll
experience benefits beyond your wildest imagination.<o:p></o:p></div>
May you grow your concentration and get to know your mind
today. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-78746745915564449952016-09-29T11:39:00.000-07:002016-09-29T11:39:38.957-07:00Key Ingredient to Maintaining Healthy Habits<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">At the beginning of my meditation courses,
I ask students to briefly say why they’ve signed up for a class in
mindfulness. Their reasons are compelling
and heartfelt. They want to be more
attentive and present, less distracted and less reactive, be more kind to
themselves and others, to worry less, and be more at peace. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSNq0bU5MVX7EE4PTVRzpKm9wa4d57wthtsms_c7BVEQlXSHdm5ugKN1_kCdP-T4N7oaX8tXMDpevkHH3gxejG9Lg7bz7k3iJMFOgzEuZCvUjoEaLuGJuGk_bL9O2x5HPrXICw-jCfqYUb/s1600/IMG_1464-001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSNq0bU5MVX7EE4PTVRzpKm9wa4d57wthtsms_c7BVEQlXSHdm5ugKN1_kCdP-T4N7oaX8tXMDpevkHH3gxejG9Lg7bz7k3iJMFOgzEuZCvUjoEaLuGJuGk_bL9O2x5HPrXICw-jCfqYUb/s320/IMG_1464-001.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">All these wonderful reasons motivate them
to attend class, and to practice the meditations while we are together. Often though, many students will not keep up
their meditation practice when they are on their own, or they will maintain it
for a little while and then it will fall away. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">As a teacher this has concerned me because
I’m invested in them succeeding, and it also makes me curious. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">Why do we abandon beneficial practices and
habits? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">Lack of time, expectations weren’t immediately
met, changes to schedule, the practice isn’t stimulating etc. are
often reasons for putting aside what we’d like to do for ourselves. Every new practice,
regimen, diet, or habit, even those we’ve done in the past, require renewed effort
from us to establish it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">The
main reason people abandon their efforts is because they lose motivation and
feel deflated. To counter these reasons
we have to know what our attitude is to the practice, and have more compelling
reasons for continuing it. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">These questions will help in discovering
our intrinsic motivation for and attitude to the practice. They can
be applied to meditation, or any positive habit you are starting like abandoning
an unhelpful habit, being healthy, being generous, helping others when we don’t feel like it,
being patient and so on. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">why am
I adopting this habit, exercise?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">what will
the effects be if I don’t do it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">what am
I willing to do, give up, curtail to ensure that I keep this priority?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">The last question is the most important
one in discovering our attitude. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg91LN0wEpXhVKz5vr6nF49wXGGyIX1WWX_OqVMkTb3cjSqv899HkGaNzIgYuJO_TXFXUVprwDK_QuSSYWyszP8VLpNBNlYg-tpZGA0ZFW5pDSM9y0RHWKpvAZNH_NhfzXJeRDI6yUL9Q8/s1600/IMG_1512-001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg91LN0wEpXhVKz5vr6nF49wXGGyIX1WWX_OqVMkTb3cjSqv899HkGaNzIgYuJO_TXFXUVprwDK_QuSSYWyszP8VLpNBNlYg-tpZGA0ZFW5pDSM9y0RHWKpvAZNH_NhfzXJeRDI6yUL9Q8/s320/IMG_1512-001.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">Recently I began doing step aerobics again
--- at home! For years I did step aerobics in
gyms in South Africa and in the U.S, and then somewhere along the line, my
exercise regimen switched to walking only.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">My main reasons for taking up this habit
again is I need to lose some mid-life weight gain, and get aerobically fit
again. If I don’t do this, I will have
to get a whole new wardrobe (my clothes are dreadfully uncomfortable now), and
I’ll likely begin developing health problems.
Basically I’m not willing to be uncomfortable and get sick! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">My attitude is that this is something within
my control, so I’m going to give it my best effort. And because I know it is going to benefit me,
I am happy doing it. Now three mornings a week, you’ll find me
bouncing up and down my step board to loud music. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">This next point is really important. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">I usually meditate in the mornings. <b>To add
exercise to my morning schedule (research shows its best to do it early in the
morning as the body will keep burning fat all day), I’ll have to adjust my routine to fit in this
new activity.</b> So three days a week,
I get up about 30 minutes earlier to do aerobics and then sit for meditation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">The decision, and more importantly, the willingness
to shift our schedules even slightly to accommodate a new activity is vital to
our success. <b>If we know why we are doing it, and what we are willing to give up to
keep doing it then half the battle is already won.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">This joyful attitude (even if it doesn’t
feel particularly joyous) reflects our priority and will help us decide how to
set up our day. We can cut out a half hour of television or internet surfing to go to bed earlier, wake up ten minutes earlier
and so on. <b>Creating space to welcome the new activity is paramount. <o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-NfJYPvZpQ1g2bL6Fni0P1P4FXV7PHGIpzzV39Qm0g8vs6l00WgWx_XD4PBmKAgaMh1rKmKnlpiS08HK5Y9KYjn9IDSUSDuXYVhLq6usfc7M4txgIkaN-mkhqCaU5Iq8318Hp-NLblYkg/s1600/IMG_1505.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-NfJYPvZpQ1g2bL6Fni0P1P4FXV7PHGIpzzV39Qm0g8vs6l00WgWx_XD4PBmKAgaMh1rKmKnlpiS08HK5Y9KYjn9IDSUSDuXYVhLq6usfc7M4txgIkaN-mkhqCaU5Iq8318Hp-NLblYkg/s320/IMG_1505.JPG" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">If we don’t shift something to make room
for the new activity, we’ll spend time each day debating when or if to do
it. This inner conflict can exhaust us,
which will leave us with little drive or energy to do the practice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">The other trick is to <b>do the new habit in the same time slot</b>. Once it is calendared in like any other important
appointment, the mind will begin to associate that time with that
activity. And of course, there’ll be
days when you aren’t inspired to do it, but fueled by your
intrinsic motivation you will be diligent. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">In a meditation practice the attitude of
one’s body and mind is vitally important-- mind and body are alert, and relaxed. Relaxed means an openness and willingness to be
joyfully interested in whatever arises, and especially to be able to laugh and
persevere when things get tough. Over
time and with consistent practice, we’ll actually begin to look forward to
meditation and will begin enjoying it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">It begins with the mindset of joyfully
making space for new habits in our life.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;">May you happily welcome healthy change into your
life.</span></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-90760892050466167802016-08-31T13:09:00.001-07:002016-08-31T13:09:32.708-07:00Threads of Patience<div class="MsoNormal">
Our lives are composed of myriad experiences woven into a
tapestry that we can look back on with pleasure or wince at in dismay. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi39sem8YsJu4bnD1TyLFHZH18TvlNhVSDpSWTfnJ_uckEwmhAfAMCAidZc8cXiFX-pgajDKnA6dVkhix52bP0Jxq7unyRL9kxqDds8V1djDwjB_l4Wbo3_uFPxqe6Xnxs5_ZBwHj4g-goK/s1600/20151211_090508.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi39sem8YsJu4bnD1TyLFHZH18TvlNhVSDpSWTfnJ_uckEwmhAfAMCAidZc8cXiFX-pgajDKnA6dVkhix52bP0Jxq7unyRL9kxqDds8V1djDwjB_l4Wbo3_uFPxqe6Xnxs5_ZBwHj4g-goK/s320/20151211_090508.jpg" width="180" /></a> The threads used in the construction of our life’s tapestry
can add lustre and invite a touch, and a softening in the
heart of an observer. Or it can be woven
from floss that’s raw, knotted, and frayed, which can irritate and chaff, and awaken sadness instead. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How we approach our life experiences will determine
the quality of the thread that’s loomed into our life’s portrait. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The other day I spoke with a high school friend. He’s been working in the same job almost 30
years and is planning on retiring from it. Laughingly he said to me, “I know this isn’t
the best way to live because I’m living now just for my retirement”.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I felt sad as I listened to him because it was obvious to
both of us that he knew he was putting his life on hold for a dream. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Recently two people quite close to me told me of unexpected
mishaps that have befallen them. The ceiling on the
home of my 72 year old friend caved in.
It’s destroyed all her belongings and everything has been contaminated
with asbestos and mold. So everything is
condemned and has be thrown out.
Another 82 year old friend who is preparing for knee replacement surgery
just discovered the water supply to her home is running dry, and she has to pay
thousands of dollars to have a new well dug on her property.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Consciously or unconsciously most of us believe we’ll live a
problem free life when we are older.
With that false idea in mind, we think it is fine to simply blast
through life’s current irritations because one day it will all be smooth
sailing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But skill later on in life requires training throughout
life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-K3pzGUt67ropiJDXHVoOoJ4dGt7Xr8GItT3P-7MhHzIsRQTm_rlI79dmm9SkUJ75YIkuHu9wZYF8b6RKbSNDA9_scNklmB6kMO2pu1LZ_BvzzO3SI7Rrs_Xal39XXNVj0n0Rnq7fMKzF/s1600/20160223_122749.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-K3pzGUt67ropiJDXHVoOoJ4dGt7Xr8GItT3P-7MhHzIsRQTm_rlI79dmm9SkUJ75YIkuHu9wZYF8b6RKbSNDA9_scNklmB6kMO2pu1LZ_BvzzO3SI7Rrs_Xal39XXNVj0n0Rnq7fMKzF/s200/20160223_122749.jpg" width="196" /></a> When I was a child, my bad temper got me into lots of
scrapes at school and home. My mother
would constantly caution me about the suffering I was creating for myself
because of my uncontrolled behavior. I
hated hearing her advice then, but I see the wisdom of it now. I was honing the habit of being angry and
impatient. And she was saying don’t wait
until you are older to develop patience, start training now. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our entire lifetime is a training ground for cultivating
wise thought, speech and action. It is
unwise to think that patience, tolerance and forbearance can be developed
overnight later in life. That belief causes us to disregard the opportunities to practice being patient every moment.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Many things try our tolerance from radio broadcasts to
witnessing some incident on the street. The supreme skill of patience will help us in such rough times because instead of becoming inflamed we can practise restraint, which lessens our own and others' suffering. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To defuse impatience and irritation, we should actively
remind ourselves that the challenge we are currently facing is an opportunity
to develop a helpful skill. It’s not
always easy to remember this. So it's a good idea to start with the little irritations. For
example, when I’m washing dishes, and putting cutlery into the dish rack, and if a spoon falls out, I get irritated.
Because I know this is a trial for me, I sometimes even laugh at my
irritation when a fork or spoon falls out of the holder.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg6QeFXB7YPdqTS0bKlLjrIZ4I8z9S5d158J7WCRDHJ4vcsfX4-W8_kszZ_NwpxmRvkY3uCxngN0_lQ31iwMPHzZSFmV5A_wHdxeNoROt_elBELKkIyJKHZ29ScPMRsH4H5aYsWfscKkCj/s1600/20151211_090730.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg6QeFXB7YPdqTS0bKlLjrIZ4I8z9S5d158J7WCRDHJ4vcsfX4-W8_kszZ_NwpxmRvkY3uCxngN0_lQ31iwMPHzZSFmV5A_wHdxeNoROt_elBELKkIyJKHZ29ScPMRsH4H5aYsWfscKkCj/s200/20151211_090730.jpg" width="200" /></a> It’s important to notice in advance what triggers our
impatience. Once you are angry it’s very
difficult to halt the spiral. So being
mindful even in hindsight, and reflecting on episodes of impatience is very
helpful in developing a calmer state of mind. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP58MdLB2OOqeG98wvJvCcU0wyUWWKF8vLRjavcVovXE_AGBDNuQc6Srz76GmEQ272JX7BOA8dvp6JtsBbtiA5hLf51uRsdWMfzDsW9LJMPU3SY94ng-6NcjlUyLhWDEa-0UYgAzEuYNhG/s1600/20121226_163846.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP58MdLB2OOqeG98wvJvCcU0wyUWWKF8vLRjavcVovXE_AGBDNuQc6Srz76GmEQ272JX7BOA8dvp6JtsBbtiA5hLf51uRsdWMfzDsW9LJMPU3SY94ng-6NcjlUyLhWDEa-0UYgAzEuYNhG/s200/20121226_163846.jpg" width="198" /></a> The other thing to do is remind yourself that no situation
lasts forever. No matter how frustrating
and annoying someone or something is it will end. Practicing restraint and stoicism in the
midst of it is trains the mind, lessens your own and others' suffering, and defuses
a volatile situation. People remember us for how we are when things are falling
apart.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m struck by the acceptance of both my friends who are enduring
challenges at this stage of life. Their
calm comes from years of training in tolerance.
They exemplify grace under fire. The threads in their life tapestries
will glisten with smoothness, silkiness and softness. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
May your life tapestry be loomed with threads of patience. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-77522237381371878572016-07-28T14:15:00.001-07:002016-07-28T14:15:24.531-07:00Managing Anger: The Discipline Approach<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHmLWdi8HWTEa43MolTiO2HOl5eNNtsLMpB0KlFSrhtpr62deQIhZT9jl4P0xZMa08UvObTlEE5GfPwQi2-vS6S5QBu22yoqldOf6Vt-09SZb2bhU3iS9k57dx1niaX908HD5mwH7opMpK/s1600/pics+from+flat+in+santa+clara+042.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHmLWdi8HWTEa43MolTiO2HOl5eNNtsLMpB0KlFSrhtpr62deQIhZT9jl4P0xZMa08UvObTlEE5GfPwQi2-vS6S5QBu22yoqldOf6Vt-09SZb2bhU3iS9k57dx1niaX908HD5mwH7opMpK/s320/pics+from+flat+in+santa+clara+042.jpg" width="240" /></a> The word discipline may be vile to some. To them it means following externally-derived
and enforced rules and being punished for disobeying those rules. But a more powerful kind of discipline is
self-discipline also called self-control, which effectively motivates or
restrains one’s actions, speech and thought to benefit oneself and others. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’ve all had some experience with inner discipline: we get up for our morning jog or walk, sit in
meditation, complete a project, hold our tongues, or take a rest<o:p></o:p></div>
even when we’d
rather not do so. Recently we’ve been exposed to “politicians”
in our media who haven’t displayed much self-restraint in speech. Despite the shocking success they may be
enjoying, it is far wiser to practice willpower in not rashly speaking and acting,
as it is a better determiner of future happiness. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our strongest ally in maintaining self-discipline is mindfulness. Noticing which of our behaviors, thoughts and
attitudes serve us well and which ones fail us, will guide us to making
beneficial choices in situations and with people. More importantly, even if more distressingly,
when we recognize the result (arguments, hurt feelings, sadness, betrayal) of our
thoughts, actions, and, speech it will starkly reveal the ways we create or
contribute to our own suffering. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The other day a neighbor’s son-in-law screamed vile abuse at
me because I asked his daughter to please not walk on the gravel and to be
careful with my two day old plants. He
ranted and raved repeatedly bellowing out “how are we harming the rocks?” Despite my shock, I saw how his selective
hearing had hobbled him. It had blocked
out my request to be careful with the plants and left only the part he chose to
hear -- that I was saying she was harming the gravel. He'd grasped onto that flimsy absurd reason so
he could vent. Long after I’d gone back
into the house, I could hear him still swearing me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most of us begin to practice self-restraint when we notice
some unhealthy or unhelpful habit we’ve developed. Initially we do it for ourselves. With practice, wise thought, speech and
action improves our interpersonal relationships too. The most powerful effect of self-discipline
is the lessening of our habitual reactivity. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The man next door is in the habit of being angry. His disproportionate rapid-fire rage told me this was well honed habit. This habit robs him of the discipline and emotional
intelligence to establish meaningful happy relationships. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The saddest part of this unfortunate scenario is that he is so
accustomed to having an upset mind, which unsettles his emotions and
body, which further disturbs his mind, that he is oblivious to it. Years of unrestrained boldly-displayed anger
has imprisoned him in his own volatility.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDcofwHVdy9LrHHogCjTmvp32b3oi1_3BalJiOJecowDJMQraKiB9di0eK8wCFMnRw4sxOpfUroml8o5lXv0ENcduNRE_aFbbzQWr9TYb2A2eolTKGT0syYJokH6rnOn1x5i0DwGEPkEeJ/s1600/fall+leaves+003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDcofwHVdy9LrHHogCjTmvp32b3oi1_3BalJiOJecowDJMQraKiB9di0eK8wCFMnRw4sxOpfUroml8o5lXv0ENcduNRE_aFbbzQWr9TYb2A2eolTKGT0syYJokH6rnOn1x5i0DwGEPkEeJ/s320/fall+leaves+003.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Being angry is a particularly unpleasant experience: tight,
hot, and with the urge to lash out.
I have been working on curbing my short fuse. Years of mindfully monitoring the physical
symptoms of bourgeoning anger, knowing the situations that trigger it, and
understanding the disadvantage it creates for me and others have definitely
lessened this tendency. Anger like
overeating, worrying, hating etc. is just a habit. And the way to free ourselves from such
reactivity is self-control or discipline. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Honest examination of ourselves after we lose our temper is
especially helpful in compassionately understanding our bad habits. This too requires discipline. We’ll find that we become perturbed when we are
wishing for things to be different than what they are. Sometimes one may be justified in speaking
out (like in the case with my neighbor’s in law) but that doesn’t mean it’s
always helpful. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is wiser and more helpful to invest energy in keeping an
open heart and mind especially when the instinct is to harden. We can extend inner discipline to include
recognizing when:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->we by gossip, lie, or speak harshly we are harming
ourselves and others <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->we are being distrustful and suspicious to offer
tolerance instead. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Discipline as a daily practice requires we weigh the value
in thinking, speaking and acting with kindness and generosity of spirit. Such an approach will curb our negative habits and yield greater happiness
for yourself and those around you. <o:p></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"> May your heart and mind be
filled with loving self-control</span>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-53921555619260135922016-06-30T08:26:00.000-07:002016-06-30T12:04:01.191-07:00The Art of Giving<div class="MsoNormal">
While cleaning out my wardrobe the other day, I was
contemplating what it means to be generous.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The growing pile of clothes I hadn’t used for some time, and
of clothes whose existence I’d forgotten about was a reminder of how much I was going to actually donate to local charity shops.
As huge as the pile was, did that mean I was equally generous?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrpu_VexHqbbExnRXv2eG6NQARlFgSkowICx8XUoQw3CdIVCTh72dYR0hcSiuK894GrM867OMNKD5KLfcd3zInWji7jiXv1l0NvMU1QMTYk14pRDja2wdR_rOKv8jz_6Z72oLKDnXhkJ9k/s1600/IMG_1130.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrpu_VexHqbbExnRXv2eG6NQARlFgSkowICx8XUoQw3CdIVCTh72dYR0hcSiuK894GrM867OMNKD5KLfcd3zInWji7jiXv1l0NvMU1QMTYk14pRDja2wdR_rOKv8jz_6Z72oLKDnXhkJ9k/s320/IMG_1130.JPG" width="240" /></a> It was not lost on me as I sorted through the clothing and
shoes, that I was giving away only those things that I no longer wanted, wore,
felt attractive in and found valuable. Would I so easily have discarded or donated the
shoes and clothes that I still wanted and valued?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is it generosity to give away only what we no longer want or
need? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our reason for donating is influenced by many factors: we want to clean out the space, downsize or
pare down our possessions, and give to worthy causes, but the waters of our motivation can get murky because we, in the U.S., also receive a tax deduction for our charitable
donations. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So what does it mean to be truly generous? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I heard a story of a man who was helping to serve food to
San Francisco’s homeless one cold Sunday morning. The indigent man he was handing food to said
to him that his jacket looked warm. The
man immediately put down the plate, removed his jacket, and handed it to the
homeless man. This is heart-warming,
tear-jerking generosity. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
True generosity means giving what is helpful, beneficial, or
good without hope of return. Clearly
then a selfish motive such as clearing out an overfull wardrobe, or wanting to
feel less burdened by possessions isn’t altruism. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We don’t have to give
away what we still need and use to demonstrate our charitable nature. But if we do give away a prized object simply to win somebody over, gain fame or power over another, well then, you can see this wouldn't be generosity either. <br />
One’s motivation has to be crystal clear. The more attached we are to an object and outcome the less freedom there is in our giving. Whether consciously or unconsciously we cling like crazy glue to our possessions. Typically only when we deem them no longer of use to us do we loosen our grip. Such 'stickiness' in relationships with our things, friends and family is how we become burdened by all we own. <br />
Even if we don't think of our friends and family as possessions, they are in our minds "<i>our</i> family" and "<i>our</i> friends". A friend from my teen years used to get very upset whenever "her friends" befriended other people. Such possessiveness often marks much of our 'ownership'.<br />
A lack of generosity can also manifest as attachment to ourselves over others. This is not mere selfishness but is evidenced especially in stealing. Theft is motivated by greed/desire that implicitly declares the thief's want/need/desire for the item is greater than that of the owners. Interestingly the way to combat the tendency to steal is to practise generosity. Giving instead of taking. The action of giving unwinds our grip on all that we think we own and helps us better adjust to life's temporariness. Then when things leave either by donation, theft or death we are well practised in dealing with their absence in our lives. <br />
This may sound far fetched but its common sense is indisputable. As an energy healer who works with crystals, one of the first things I learnt about crystals is how to view their 'leaving'. So if a crystal gets lost or stolen or say your amethyst bracelet disappears off your wrist, then we are to view that departure as the crystal having served its purpose in your life and was moving on to benefit the person in whose possession it currently was in. Even if you don't subscribe to this metaphysical notion, at the very least it is training one to be free and to practise sharing and giving.<br />
So here’s a simple formula for practicing true
generosity: give another what will
benefit him/her + expect nothing in return = you will be freer and happier.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fortunately generosity isn’t only limited to the donation of
material objects. If this were true,
then most of the world’s impoverished who are practically possessionless would not be able
to practice generosity. The fact is
everyone can be generous in non-material ways.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPOS8F-KwOzKEtkQKDK35dmbzOSDrBbnrt455bKOUn4jOj8ZVIk3imdWHdrSFZD-foBcviS0PEW9mAOQGZ06PjtpouSS8x1IgQYjJNGh0EWC9gWuEfUdkXDBhpcnyvoCfTdu0_eX_ZvA_o/s1600/20150802_184124.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPOS8F-KwOzKEtkQKDK35dmbzOSDrBbnrt455bKOUn4jOj8ZVIk3imdWHdrSFZD-foBcviS0PEW9mAOQGZ06PjtpouSS8x1IgQYjJNGh0EWC9gWuEfUdkXDBhpcnyvoCfTdu0_eX_ZvA_o/s320/20150802_184124.jpg" width="320" /></a> Generosity is taking time to listen and be with a friend who
needs love and understanding. Giving another the benefit of the doubt or
cutting them slack when they’ve upset us, and we’d like to tell them off but
don’t is being charitable. And wise too.<br />
If we share the practices that
have helped us lessen the pain, stress and anxiety in our lives then we are
being generous. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our acts of charity don’t have to be huge. Letting go of even the smallest possession,
or spending the briefest moments with another is giving from the heart. This kind of generosity brings light into
your and others' lives. <o:p></o:p></div>
May you experience the freedom in giving.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-65132969624570024392016-05-31T19:27:00.003-07:002016-05-31T19:27:35.966-07:00Tips on When to Speak or Remain Silent<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p> Spending
time with people from different cultural backgrounds can create moments of wondrous
learning, stunned embarrassment, and uproarious hilarity. On a recent trip to Costa Rica where, we travelled
for the first time with a tour group, we were exposed to some people who seemed
to lack a verbal filter. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3ciW52-IBAIEVZD3ZcnjoZ0I5Z9poqyL5UH5zbjsuQN0inAwcHHT4I-CQF_oicPVPlXaXpinfeL19tMhRvXd7Dc4tnVGitSHYtpqxwYEa2QFxLk3lyKJSSqfBGDssiaiVG4AZDCQPrhZ3/s1600/20160511_081854.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3ciW52-IBAIEVZD3ZcnjoZ0I5Z9poqyL5UH5zbjsuQN0inAwcHHT4I-CQF_oicPVPlXaXpinfeL19tMhRvXd7Dc4tnVGitSHYtpqxwYEa2QFxLk3lyKJSSqfBGDssiaiVG4AZDCQPrhZ3/s320/20160511_081854.jpg" width="180" /></a> One
woman, in particular, made a habit of speaking every thought that entered her
mind. Her hurtful rem<o:p></o:p></div>
arks were often accompanied
by a giggle and a quirked eyebrow. Even as
I would stare in horrified disbelief at her, I felt she didn’t think her words
were offensive. In fact, she seemed to think they were funny,
and would blithely go on speaking and laughing as if a bomb hadn’t just fallen
into the space. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like all habits, she had honed this bad one into
a fine skill.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We speak for many reasons: to entertain, to
inform, to fill uncomfortable silence, to deflect, to express, to chatter, and to
gossip. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As
with any skill, we have to know when to employ it. And with speech, knowing what to say and when
to say it is paramount. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To
know when to speak and when to remain silent, we have to develop awareness of
what’s happening in our mind. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This
kind of knowing is extremely helpful because it empowers us to see what we are
about to say, and to be able to change our mind about verbalizing it, if need be. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We
don’t think of our mind as being changeable, but it is most workable. When I was a child I adored ice cream. In my teens, it became evident that my ice
cream passion was packing on the pounds.
I clearly remember thinking, "then
I won’t like ice cream and milkshake anymore".
My decision to dislike them was so strong that to this day, I can turn
away from them without any difficulty. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmGeLKTc6Vd4soDQa3SFp4P6VcRjWFbeMxtl7TXIzIzP3Jbrzb4EN76Uxjcx1LB1b1hmTbgJCv2nOjRrb4_zrqAw8-rY2emMXAlxisOVtLBiIlLM5Kilw989II1bpitCwxalw-afzQLQ5n/s1600/20160505_122129.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmGeLKTc6Vd4soDQa3SFp4P6VcRjWFbeMxtl7TXIzIzP3Jbrzb4EN76Uxjcx1LB1b1hmTbgJCv2nOjRrb4_zrqAw8-rY2emMXAlxisOVtLBiIlLM5Kilw989II1bpitCwxalw-afzQLQ5n/s320/20160505_122129.jpg" width="266" /></a> Likewise,
gaining insight into the kind of thought that predominates in our mind, is very
revealing and helpful. If we are
constantly worrying, complaining, or happy then the words that we’ll speak will
mostly be in alignment with our thoughts.
For instance, in a situation where you are observing what’s happening, you
can train yourself to notice when you are wishing for something to be
different, or someone to act differently, or to see the story you are creating in
your mind about the people and situation. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
words that come out of our mouths are first born in our thoughts. The energy and strength behind those words
are fueled by our feelings. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
state of our mind makes us happy or unhappy.
Therefore, it is absolutely vital to work with our minds. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To
recognize our mind state, we meditate or pay mindful attention to our thoughts
and feelings. In meditation, we are training the mind to remain on a neutral object
like the breath. This is especially
important if we discover that our regular thinking pattern is full of judgment and criticism. Maintaining the attention on the breath over
time neutralizes the negativity of our mindset.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In this way, we lessen the habit of thinking
negative thoughts, which in turn prevents us from speaking harshly.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We can
create happiness in our lives and our relationships by monitoring the state of
our mind. In every situation where we
feel compelled to comment or advise, we have to be absolutely clear on the following:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->What am I feeling now?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->What am I thinking now?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->3.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Is what I am about to say
true?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->4.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Is it helpful?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->5.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Is it necessary?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->6.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Is this the correct time
to say it?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->7.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->What is my motivation for
saying it?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Practicing
when to speak helps develop the skill and habit of creating a positive mind
state for yourself and helps foster healthy relationships and vice versa.<o:p></o:p></div>
May
you be empowered to speak wisely. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-22226580167180169312016-04-29T09:13:00.003-07:002016-04-29T09:13:46.277-07:00Conducting a Solo Home Retreat<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPiMLsht0lfrVgITKmU_6HAZDYmDJmrx50hBULjCCLQs_eSDgH7vAh4F5WWQ39cmUbu36vYQwKKPpPHgKczhIF1T4cnd7MT-M1cPHg4-uL-NDjYs0_gZk55L24fsD1fQIoAiA8nfH_RUdH/s1600/20151119_143239.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="284" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPiMLsht0lfrVgITKmU_6HAZDYmDJmrx50hBULjCCLQs_eSDgH7vAh4F5WWQ39cmUbu36vYQwKKPpPHgKczhIF1T4cnd7MT-M1cPHg4-uL-NDjYs0_gZk55L24fsD1fQIoAiA8nfH_RUdH/s320/20151119_143239.jpg" width="320" /></a> Last month’s article on my week-long retreat spurred
comments like “I couldn’t do that kind of retreat” and “I wouldn’t be able to
sit for that long.” This told me that many people are interested in retreat,
but maybe not as strict a one as I did (especially for a first retreat). So if
you are interested in going on retreat, keep reading…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Benefits of Retreats<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Retreats aren’t purely for relaxation, decompressing, and
escaping the usual busyness of our lives, their main reason is for spiritual
development: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->time to reflect on our true nature, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->discover who we are, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->grow our strength and bravery to face the
problems we typically avoid,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->grow feelings of love and compassion, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->study and develop wisdom, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->gain clarity and understanding of the nature of our
own mind,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->spend time taming our mind,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span>taking care of ourselves,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span>resting and decompressing, as well.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Types of Retreats<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Organized group retreats usually have a teacher who provides
feedback and guidance on a student’s practice.
The energy generated by a group meditating together is very powerful in motivating
participants. One’s practice is inspired
by being in the company of like-minded people all making effort and persevering
through the challenges. Group retreats
also grow one’s confidence and skill in practicing. The challenge lies in following the
prescribed schedule to gain the most benefit from the retreat.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some retreat and meditation centers offer private retreat
options. The recommendation is for new retreatants to do a group retreat before
a long private one as the private retreat is an advanced practice. On these solo retreats, you stay in a private
cabin, determine your own schedule, practice at your own pace, and have meals
brought to your cabin. This kind of
retreat requires discipline as you determine the focus and practices of your
retreat: the periods of sitting and walking meditation, study time, and the
topic you want to pay attention on your retreat. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b>
<b> Solo Home Retreat</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another alternative is to do a short private retreat in your
home. Conducting a half day, whole day, or weekend retreat is a great way to
gain confidence in being on one's own. Private
retreats can be as strict or relaxed depending on your intention. If you aren’t used to sitting for long hours,
then start with a half day retreat. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The opportunity on retreat is to move attention inward. Therefore,
access and use of cell phones/telephone, television, radio, reading magazines
and newspapers, and even socializing or running errands should be cut out or
limited to as needed only. Depending on
your retreat purpose, plan some time for study, and reflecting and journaling
your experiences. Also set time aside for
breakfast, lunch, and dinner which can be eaten as part of your practice. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For example: a first
solo silent retreat will be to do it for half day or one day with the intention
of being mindfully present in all your activities. This will allow you sufficient time to do a
couple sessions of sitting and walking meditation. In a daylong, the first sitting could be at
8 <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk_Rv2QQneDCnZzLRD3Fs4o5nkEfwb68Cv3_aa3IqmSOMQequ21rrPwsl-FiScjRw-flbQnLAWjyrRcNkfJkWBKDidGMdyW5A0KHe50fpjZHWZCuR0Ags3NhsqCE11EveSPR8PWRUqcM7B/s1600/flower+inn+bowl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk_Rv2QQneDCnZzLRD3Fs4o5nkEfwb68Cv3_aa3IqmSOMQequ21rrPwsl-FiScjRw-flbQnLAWjyrRcNkfJkWBKDidGMdyW5A0KHe50fpjZHWZCuR0Ags3NhsqCE11EveSPR8PWRUqcM7B/s320/flower+inn+bowl.jpg" width="291" /></a></div>
am with an hour each sitting and hour walking alternating throughout the day. A
weekend retreat can be a break from your usual routine and electronics, and the
chance to breathe, write, hike, and be present.
If your goal is to develop your meditation practice, then your whole
retreat can be the practice of your meditation technique. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Retreating from home will require<o:p></o:p></div>
preparation. As much as possible, try and anticipate all your
needs in advance to minimize distraction, worry, and planning during the retreat. If you plan on studying, have the texts available. Shop for your food in advance, plan a menu or
cook, or have someone prepare food for you and drop it off. Restrict speech to functional speech as much
as possible. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Setting an intention for your retreat is important. Make it
realistic and achievable especially for your first one. For instance: to be mindfully
aware of and curious about whatever is unfolding in your mind, emotion,
body. Or to mentally note or label your
actions throughout the day. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As important as intention is your attitude. Being able to laugh and not take things too
seriously when the strain of being on one’s own, or working with one’s mind builds
up is vital in keeping you persevering. Patience
will be necessary too. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s much benefit to be gained from being on
retreat. At the very least it provides a
welcome break to be still and silent. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
May your retreat be fulfilling and enlightening. <o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-58966792757260920712016-03-31T10:03:00.003-07:002016-03-31T10:03:21.629-07:00Revealed on Retreat<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibAmwXhdpV4zfwMN6iGrqta3uxhURl9o_tAWN1HI_C2tUjrmcgIEuHw5muncDpx2JWOzvMeiSc2XLDUYzZFxBgPbdrZFHnO6Lyeq8Id_PEZtwnNyfezwxpSHRJvA5OATHGBekZMSZsFNZp/s1600/dandelion+close+up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibAmwXhdpV4zfwMN6iGrqta3uxhURl9o_tAWN1HI_C2tUjrmcgIEuHw5muncDpx2JWOzvMeiSc2XLDUYzZFxBgPbdrZFHnO6Lyeq8Id_PEZtwnNyfezwxpSHRJvA5OATHGBekZMSZsFNZp/s320/dandelion+close+up.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a> I just got back from a week-long retreat. Life wasted no opportunity to remind me of my
self-delusion, and my expectations of people and the world around me. Within the first few days it hit me: I was not just retreating from the world, I
had been retreating from the changes happening in me and my life. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Retreats provide dedicated time and space to intensively
explore our inner world and our attitude to the outside world. In this case,
the day began at 4:30 AM with the first sitting meditation at 5:00 AM. Interspersed throughout the day were one hour
sitting and walking meditations broken up by breakfast and lunch (eaten in
meditative silence). According to
monastic tradition, after 12PM eating isn’t allowed. The day ended at 10PM. Even though other people were around, the
practice is usually to observe noble silence except for functional speech. The grueling schedule is offset by moments of tender
kindness and delight in a peaceful setting. Throughout the time, you have access to
support staff and monks or teachers who can guide you through the experiences
you are encountering on your inner journey.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From the get go, I ran headlong into my expectations. At the first meditation session I heard a
woman burping loudly. It was clear she did
so with an open mouth and wasn’t trying to quieten it. A lightning bolt of disgust and irritation flashed
through me. Several years ago on a 10 day retreat I had succeeded in not
getting annoyed at a man who had burped through every sitting session. My pique this time was surprising to me. The heat of anger built up in me as she
continued her staccato little burps. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The struggle to keep
my mind on the meditation object was as strong as the urge to stomp – mindfully,
mind you – over to her and tell her to just stop it. Then my body began shaking with suppressed
laughter at the absurdity of the situation because I knew full well that my
disgust resulted from my own reactivity, and had nothing to do with her. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7uE5C0w2Zt8TQm1X1DcODrhknMJXEUWuKAu9EM5HMuqeqVpayA6EqO3RJLEf6PmFcqCzwTB-z_5tDpwqwVaP_dYTtKINF1b56GYEBujRfBmhTmYtfg520VaFPO6qR-FC0-_krrvPFWhvn/s1600/leaf+close+up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7uE5C0w2Zt8TQm1X1DcODrhknMJXEUWuKAu9EM5HMuqeqVpayA6EqO3RJLEf6PmFcqCzwTB-z_5tDpwqwVaP_dYTtKINF1b56GYEBujRfBmhTmYtfg520VaFPO6qR-FC0-_krrvPFWhvn/s320/leaf+close+up.jpg" width="193" /></a> At breakfast, I looked up to find the same woman sitting a
mere foot across the table from me. Life,
the cosmic jokester, evidently thought I needed more exposure to this charming
woman who burped through the meal, chewed with an open mouth, spat chewed food
onto her plate, and slurped her soup (served at every meal). Whenever my idea of good manners, decorum,
civility, and consideration were challenged, I’d remind myself, with eyes
averted, that the burping and slurping were merely sound waves hitting my
eardrums. Everything else was my
interpretation of an essentially neutral occurrence. Adopting such a view
restored calm. When we see or hear something, we can’t halt the mental processes that cause us to label it ‘good’ or ‘bad’.
The only choice point is whether we will act on our inclination or not.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As with most things, awareness is the first step to prioritizing
where to place our attention, which eventually leads to change.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A discovery that broadsided me was that I am not as strong,
disciplined, or resilient as I used to be or think I am. Seven hours of sitting meditation a day takes
a toll on the human body, and as much as my mind protested being tamed, my body
shrieked its disapproval at being kept in one position for so many hours. I had to consciously work on discerning and
then accepting when I needed to give my body a rest, and when to remain seated until
the aches and restlessness had played themselves out. This physical strain was a huge lesson for
me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the past, I would have been able to sit through the
discomfort and hunger but this time I really struggled. Spending hours on end observing one’s own
mind brings up emotions and reveals one’s obsessive thoughts. My thoughts lingered in the past, and on my ability
to meditate for long hours and to be without food. I was yearning for that younger resilient
body and resisting who I now was. This
resistance and rigidity was exacerbating my physical and mental distress. When I began to soften, my situation eased.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I undertook the retreat to develop my
spiritual practice. Intellectually I
knew, of course, that spiritual growth happens in tandem with emotional and
physical releases, and mental shifts of consciousness, but this time I was so
much more mindful of all the levels of my being that were transforming throughout
this retreat. I returned home exhausted, but tranquil and deeply present to the
changes unfolding within me and outside of me.
Retreats are not spa holidays. In
spite of the grueling schedule and temporary discomfort, retreats reveal the
layers of ourselves usually buried beneath our busyness and distractedness, they
help us encounter ourselves, and to develop spiritually. May you find time to be with yourself in silence.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-7341813672892549742016-02-29T08:15:00.000-08:002016-02-29T08:15:09.521-08:00Mindfully Managing Desire<div class="MsoNormal">
Valentine’s Day is typically a celebration of love, romance,
and the satiation of sensual pleasures and desires.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh42lwnCOgm3NZPQcu7Sz29_26bjj1q1TETRUAod-R57_JBgeV4Mg1eNUAAOhuQ_hspGHigvR1h58E6kaEcxFCvOfuwvyFpwAmDFcwrcsvdRLH9YbIde00ftoL32igEEzNVfA9BElxGGMXt/s1600/IMG_0988.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh42lwnCOgm3NZPQcu7Sz29_26bjj1q1TETRUAod-R57_JBgeV4Mg1eNUAAOhuQ_hspGHigvR1h58E6kaEcxFCvOfuwvyFpwAmDFcwrcsvdRLH9YbIde00ftoL32igEEzNVfA9BElxGGMXt/s320/IMG_0988.JPG" width="240" /></a> At the start of February, I
began a month-long detox requiring I eliminate many foods
from my diet. Even though I don’t often
indulge in chocolate and cookies, my craving for them during this month became so
pronounced that I had to sit up and take notice. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Apparently desire, of all the emotions we experience, is the
one that’s most easily masked from our own perception i.e. we neither notice its influence on us nor do we see clearly while under its influence. In contrast emotions like anger, fear, or sadness
usually appear without too much camouflage.
With desire, this is not the case.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course, there are good desires like wanting to be of service in the world or to be kinder and more loving. Needing to eat when hungry and rest when tired are neutral desires that don't have any harmful impact either. <br />
However, harmful craving or desire impairs our ability to see reality. The mindset we approach life situations with when under the influence of this emotion is mainly to validate our opinions, reinforce preconceived notions, and/or to get what we want. Such longing or yearning
is the interloper between what we are experiencing and what is actually
happening. Consequently we rarely
directly perceive life.<br />
We may well recognize when we are craving something, but its
inherent seductive poison is not apparent to us. This is because with desire there is always
an attendant justification. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
An example: The other
day I’d weeded the garden, did laundry, cooked, completed some business matters,
and by the afternoon I was ready to relax.
My idea of relaxation is watching a movie. By the way, a few years ago I’d given up cable
service because I’d spent an unhealthy amount of time in front of the
television. Knowing my craving for wanting
to lose myself in some show or movie, I try to be mindfully aware when I indulge
this habit. So on the day when I’d been
especially industrious, I felt entitled to sit and watch one or two full length
movies as a reward to myself. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The problem here is -- desire is the thing that’s driving my
actions. The reason or justification is
secondary. If we don’t see the desire
for what it is: to blank out, distract ourselves, escape some problem, or perhaps to chase pleasure, we unwittingly perpetuate
an unhelpful habit. What we tend to only see
is the justification, which is validating the unconscious urge we are experiencing.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiouv0NqEjjNandRyo5bk2h9J3mWcndOtf3NidQtJEqgY92V4c2XuKzsk2_lk0fbP8aLzHAKFsnTt2Zmm0YNwx2splEY9Ws38fHw7YVuR_G8-2x_5iUQ82BN9_1QBuKBWEBANGqnuJEbNYU/s1600/IMG_0921.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiouv0NqEjjNandRyo5bk2h9J3mWcndOtf3NidQtJEqgY92V4c2XuKzsk2_lk0fbP8aLzHAKFsnTt2Zmm0YNwx2splEY9Ws38fHw7YVuR_G8-2x_5iUQ82BN9_1QBuKBWEBANGqnuJEbNYU/s320/IMG_0921.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
To be clear, pleasure is a necessary part of life. A life devoid of sensual pleasure will surely
be dreary and depressing. Pleasure only becomes an issue when we can no longer control our yearning for
it, when we seek it constantly, and want it to be our only life experience. At this stage, desire or pleasure seeking becomes attachment, obsession and clinging. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The way to bring the unconsciousness of desire to the
surface is to pay attention. Notice when
you are yearning or longing for something and ask yourself what’s behind that
feeling. Don’t be surprised by all the reasons
that arise. Instead look beyond the
reason to the basic urge that is motivating the action. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If your ‘escape” is watching
television or perhaps drinking, overeating, gambling, or playing video games you can
train yourself to do those things mindfully.
For e.g. Sit in front of the television, (with it turned off, of course)
close your eyes and check in with yourself. You could ask questions like: “what am I feeling right now?”; “what thoughts are plaguing me?”; “what don’t I want to face right now?” Once you have your answer, or when you are ready, turn on the television and enjoy your movie. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This way, you may still be indulging your desire, but it is
no longer unconscious. You are seeing it
for what it is. It has become a mindful
action. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"> <b>May you mindfully manage your
desires. </b></span></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-36510005993644526732016-01-25T16:35:00.000-08:002016-01-25T16:35:02.385-08:00Breaking Unhelpful Habits<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitIpcJwGlYCtr4D3CetOf6-xbbe6WlLqPwBs0sMQmPkC2NggqXM9a5g-kEhV7T8qjXrR9kzOE8DpyD_6SA13AOkizO_WxVOpeZQSrJkar2Fqp8gL_IivA3Wzo4CMY5vow0J5nJYcSKsQBk/s1600/20150830_110853.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitIpcJwGlYCtr4D3CetOf6-xbbe6WlLqPwBs0sMQmPkC2NggqXM9a5g-kEhV7T8qjXrR9kzOE8DpyD_6SA13AOkizO_WxVOpeZQSrJkar2Fqp8gL_IivA3Wzo4CMY5vow0J5nJYcSKsQBk/s320/20150830_110853.jpg" width="180" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqXwZEBzeqhTPhdnJVDQc9c3cGFLgP5qDLBFWLLmc_6qbzG0KXhlgMRQ_P_cWXveackfzfGgpMAF2OrGvXMEL277gCzCIx8lHd50-HmFVTiVZvV3AaRarhGwRHei5zCRg3Q5m3AlyQs2Lt/s1600/20150830_104430.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqXwZEBzeqhTPhdnJVDQc9c3cGFLgP5qDLBFWLLmc_6qbzG0KXhlgMRQ_P_cWXveackfzfGgpMAF2OrGvXMEL277gCzCIx8lHd50-HmFVTiVZvV3AaRarhGwRHei5zCRg3Q5m3AlyQs2Lt/s320/20150830_104430.jpg" width="180" /></a> It’s a new year. In January, many of us usually resolve to rid
ourselves of some unhelpful habit. What
are habits? We know they are easy to
develop (sometimes they seem to miraculously appear), and are notoriously hard
to get rid off.<br /> Habits are formed simply by repeating some behavior,
reaction, or answer. There’s differing
opinions on how long they take to manifest.
The physiological explanation for
the formation of habits is that a neural pathway is created in the brain
whenever an action, thought, or behavior is replayed. Each repetition deepens and strengthens that
neural pathway. For example: say we are
feeling bad about ourselves. To deny or block
the sensations of pain or sadness we feel, we’ll eat a slab of chocolate, drink
a bottle of wine, or watch television for hours. Every time we do this pattern, the habit is
entrenched.<br /> Before long, the time between the trigger (unworthy
feelings) and the reaction (eating) becomes almost instantaneous and
unconscious. Habits are learned behaviours. We have the option to respond differently.<br /> The best method for breaking habits is to notice what
immediately precedes the action, thought, feeling, or reaction. Disrupting unconscious tendencies requires we
notice what’s happening in our mind and body, as they are constantly revealing our
experience to external or internal situations. The idea being that if you can
see what causes you to act in a particular way and its effects, you can
consciously choose a different way of dealing with it. Thus lessening yours and
others pain. <br /> This is the guiding principle behind mindfulness practices: to disrupt the chain reaction or sequence of occurrences
to prevent the formation of habitual patterns.
Mindfulness – paying attention to what’s happening in our thoughts,
body, and around us with the idea of learning from them – not only blocks the
entrenching of a negative or unhelpful habit, it also provides the opportunity for
creating healthy positive ones.<br /> Our thoughts can make us happy or unhappy. To cultivate the habit of happiness, we have
to tend the seeds of being grateful, kind, and friendly to self and others, and
neglect the seeds of judging, anger, and fearing. <br /> The way to stop the creation of a habit is to
breathe. Awareness of the breath is
absolutely vital. It creates a
space or gap between the trigger event and the reaction. That small gap will eventually grow, and allow you the time in which to wisely choose your words, actions, thoughts and feelings. Thus increasing yours and others happiness. In the beginning, remembering to breathe when upset may be difficult but persevering in the habit of noticing (this is a good habit) will yield results.<br />
May you breathe, notice, choose; this is the mindful path to
cultivating beneficial habits.<br />
<br />
<br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-76033006249058107242015-12-22T09:41:00.001-08:002015-12-22T09:41:57.066-08:00Season's Greetings<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>May you and yours...</b></span></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b> have a wonderful holiday season </b></span></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO2tOxOz9AqWbRCByOXw3Cm8jSmiF2itJfbvIQb7GmWVHXvXUBo1euf4qUWXSQNBNOFF1rxPu4w6tLCs0NRSwMcN4-xV2jFDczg7Ghr6xosgg3f_WcpcVgY9Ox8TRbe7X17EHv5ur041G_/s1600/20151211_104132.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO2tOxOz9AqWbRCByOXw3Cm8jSmiF2itJfbvIQb7GmWVHXvXUBo1euf4qUWXSQNBNOFF1rxPu4w6tLCs0NRSwMcN4-xV2jFDczg7Ghr6xosgg3f_WcpcVgY9Ox8TRbe7X17EHv5ur041G_/s320/20151211_104132.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>and </b></span></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>all the very best for the New Year. </b></span></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Thank you for your support this year. </b></span></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-618296690671265159.post-89442137897937681672015-12-15T08:10:00.000-08:002015-12-15T08:10:15.473-08:00This Precious Time...<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t believe this year is almost over.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For some reason, probably age related, this year I’ve been
very conscious of how quickly Fridays seem to be coming round. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The word that keeps coming to mind is “Precious”.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE0gPbr7lUHGW9n_Bs3_js8QyFV_E3JrE-LjGVqktwhzSYZMcPmwo1cmlOG4EjANCDB5D-_OsxpPPXaIDfgU7eBohcTELA4WLOLlNM_-jAhDoYj-AUp9xHNZ0y4kKyJJ9zwfljpUZjYikF/s1600/20151211_090808.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE0gPbr7lUHGW9n_Bs3_js8QyFV_E3JrE-LjGVqktwhzSYZMcPmwo1cmlOG4EjANCDB5D-_OsxpPPXaIDfgU7eBohcTELA4WLOLlNM_-jAhDoYj-AUp9xHNZ0y4kKyJJ9zwfljpUZjYikF/s320/20151211_090808.jpg" width="180" /></a> Realizing that time is moving on and there won't be an infinite number of tomorrows has really driven home the preciousness of the time we have with
each other right now. So why not
celebrate in a most heartfelt way? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
During this year’s festivities, we can make the people in
our lives feel how special they are to us. Life is fleeting; life is precious. <br />
Time spent together, in spite of moments of
irritation and hurt is indeed valuable. Our life paths intersect for a limited period in a lifetime. For some relationships it may
feel interminable, but in reality it is brief.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This holiday season
we can do more than just share our home, food, and presents with each
other; we can share our presence. We can take the time to connect
in a meaningful way with the person who’s flown across country, or just driven across town be with us. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If sharing deep
feelings is uncomfortable, then simply expressing gratitude and appreciation
through gestures, expressions, touch, and when you feel strong enough through words
is the most treasured gift we can give each other.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
May you seize this
holiday season to truly enjoy the people in your life. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08837689090572477195noreply@blogger.com0