Monday, June 17, 2013

Being Present to Your Reactions

I’m watching a wasp buzzing around trying to find a place to build a home in the umbrella under which I’m sitting.  Immediately I notice I’m anxious.  I’m worried that every time I open the umbrella, I could get stung.  I do nothing, however.  I just watch it move from spot to spot. 
Suddenly I hear a high pitch whine.  It sounds like a very large insect whirring in the afternoon heat.  The pain in my ear is the first thing I notice, followed by the thought I don’t like that sound, and then the wish that it stop. 
We operate in this way – receiving and evaluating stimuli, thoughts, feelings, sensations all the time, to which we react unconsciously.  And our reactions are multilayered.  For many of us and much of the time, our moment-to-moment reactions are unknown to us because our mind is usually split.  In effect, we are often distracted and we therefore react mindlessly.  When we react, we increase our stress. 
To reduce stress, we can choose to respond to situations after noticing the choices available to us.   Discovering the available options is possible only when we are fully present to what’s happening. 
So to help us become more present to what’s unfolding in the moment, and to train us in becoming aware of the impulses that cause us to react, we begin by paying attention to subtle signals.   These are the signals we are experiencing in our mind and body. 
For instance, when I saw the wasp zooming in to investigate the umbrella, these were the thoughts and sensations occurring in me:

Thoughts
·         the anxious thought that the wasp was going to nest there,
·         then the fearful thought that I could get stung,
·         then the angry thought, I won’t be able to sit under the umbrella and enjoy the back yard anymore. 
Within nano seconds, all these thoughts came crashing through my mind.  What follows then is a story fabricated by the mind to justify these anxious, fearful and angry thoughts.  When or if we brood upon this story, we increase our stress levels.

And as the mind and body are deeply connected and profoundly influence each other, our thoughts have a physical manifestation.  These are what occurred in me:

Body Sensations – 
·         I flinched as the wasp flew close by me, (manifestation of the judgement 'it's dangerous and don't t like it being there"),
·         then a shivery sensation started up in my belly (manifestation of a fearful thought)
·         then the shivery feeling quickly hardened into resentment (manifestation of an angry thought)
Such physical sensations arise and change from moment to moment based on our thoughts and sensations on the body . 
          Learning what thoughts and feelings are coursing through your mind and body as you’re encountering situations, will clue you up on how you become triggered to react.  To do this you can sit still and ask yourself “what am I feeling in this moment?” or “what am I thinking right now?”
Later on that day I sprayed the umbrella to deter the wasps from making a home under it.  In so doing, I acknowledged and acted upon what was within my power to do.  This is central to mindfulness – recognizing that we have a choice in responding instead of reacting in a habitual mindless way.
I hope that you are now better able to be present and to notice the subtle triggers that cause you to react instead of respond.