Thanksgiving is coming up…
And some of us are thinking that we already know it is going
to be exactly like every other Thanksgiving.
The same family members: some charmingly funny and others
less so, sitting around the same table, eating the same food, and -- arguing
over the same issues from past years.
Having this mindset predisposes us to see only what we are already
looking for. For e.g. when you are hungry, and because you have food on your mind, everywhere
you look, you’ll see food. In the same
way, worrying and ruminating that “Uncle Bernie is going to argue with Aunty
Tilly at the table over their choice for president, or their religious leanings,
or over whom the fall of apartheid most disenfranchised in the new South Africa”
is what you will mainly see.
Granted it can be irritating and upsetting when these things
happen, but if that’s paramount in your mind, you’ll miss out on the other
things that are happening too. When things can’t be changed and we wish
they were different, we end up feeling bad.
This year, to help us have an even more enjoyable holiday
season, we could try approaching it from a different perspective. A really powerful approach is to change our thoughts, and that will in turn
change our reaction. In other words, we
can relate to an old situation in a new way.
By keeping an open mind (not liking or disliking), seeing
what’s actually happening, and realizing what’s changeable and what’s not, we
can skillfully negotiate the holiday season to make it a success for everyone. We can choose to notice the kids’ enjoyment,
the moments of laughter, the playful teasing interchanges, and the pleasure we
gain from being with people who love and know us well.
The real power here is that the situation may not change, but we instead can change our response to
it. Start with noticing your thoughts.
I won’t keep you…you have much shopping and preparing to do
for your family Thanksgiving dinner.
May you enjoy the holiday, your family, and your shared meal.
