Our world becomes very small, tiny, in fact, when we
avoid the things that unsettle us. The
drive to have things always go our way: food sufficiently salted, air
temperature just right, traffic lights always green for us, shopping lines
always empty – is our way of trying to be happy. We know how unstable this kind of happiness can be. Reality has a different agenda from our agenda. Even though our striving to be comfortable is
a natural inclination, it isn’t good for us.
It makes us complacent.
Balance is necessary: being able to rest, relax and be comfortable
is important for our nervous systems and mind and body. So is pushing and opening ourselves to what
we don’t want. Our mental, emotional and
physical health and resilience depends on some level of stress and discomfort.
Years ago I remember looking up the definition of
doldrums. It is the ocean conditions in
equatorial regions where there’s a ‘stagnation’ and persistent calmness. There’s no wind and the ocean waters are very
still. In the days of sailing ships, this
posed a big problem. If they got stuck
in the doldrums, they would have had to wait days on end, until the winds
picked up to move them along.
Being too comfortable in life is akin to being in
the doldrums. The smooth mundane waters
of the doldrums, or of always being cozy, dulls the senses and makes one
listless. The sapping of our spirit and
energy causes us to lose interest in and curiosity about life. We also go into a slump whenever we retreat to
the past through reliving happy occasions, or by fantasizing about the future. Such escapism stops us from being present in
the moment, and causes us to overlook the wonders unfolding before us. Our vibrance and vitality stems from the
excitement of meeting challenges.
A river is ‘alive’ precisely because of the blocks - rocks, falls, logs, and mud banks - it encounters on its path to the ocean. If it didn’t have these obstacles, it would
simply be a sluggish stream of water.
Similarly being too comfortable and having everything going our way robs
us of the opportunity to percolate and dance with life.
The brain’s tendency to efficiently categorize and
store information about our habits, patterns, and routines somewhat hampers us
because we then rely on, and expect things to go as we’ve previously
experienced. What this means is that we
then effectively operate in default mode.
Or we could say we live in the past.
Life is persistent change, even if that change is imperceptible to us from moment to moment. Our distress, pain, fear, and anxiety arises from this struggle with change. Life’s dynamism forces us to be responsive. To respond to what’s occurring, we have to actually be in the here and now, observing what’s happening. It means we have to:
·
be alert to the changes taking place within our thoughts, emotions and
feelings, as well as the external environment of our friendships, work relationships, and casual encounters;
·
recognize we can’t rely on what worked in the past to necessarily work in
every future situation.
To broaden our world and open ourselves to experiencing what life brings each moment is the full engagement of life at all levels of our being. Responding to change in this way, we grow.
The upside to being adaptably present is we
appreciate life more when we notice how we cope and deal with
difficulties. This recognition empowers
us to see the options available, to notice how everything changes and to appreciate the value
of patience or waiting, and to understand how our stress levels pivot on the interpretation of our experiences. This is responding. This is growth. This is the full engagement of life.
To live a fulfilling and happy life is to accept life’s
ups and downs and contradictions. Take a
moment now and contemplate all that you have experienced, which has helped you
grow and learn about life and yourself. You
may find that those experiences both challenged and exhilarated. From a bodily perspective, the sensations of
fear and excitement are very similar – racing heart, sweaty palms, butterflies
in the stomach, alertness.
Isn’t life
amazing? Aren’t we amazing?
May you be brave and discover aspects of your true
self today.
