HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Friends,

Wishing you all a lovely holiday season.
May your time with family and friends be filled with laughter, joy, and peace, and of course, good eats.
May the New Year bring you peace, love, prosperity and good health.

Thank you for all you do!

Hugs
Casey

Noticing -- is enough!

A friend was telling me about her child who never seems to enjoy any activity, outing or trip they take her on.  No matter if the trip was to the zoo, hiking, beach or the movies, her daughter invariably struggled with enjoying herself or expressing enjoyment.  As her mother, my friend was sad and concerned about this ‘quirk’ in her child.

I asked her if she thought maybe the child’s expectations were too high? Or maybe the child's vision or her idea of how “things should be” causes her to be disappointed?  To ease my friend’s worry, I reminded her that noticing what’s happening for her child is the first important step.  The simplest way to teach our children is to pay attention to our own actions and words. As children learn from modeled behavior, I hoped this gentle hint would also help her (the mother) to begin noticing her own levels of expectation and perfection.   

 In a culture which emphasizes doing above being, the drive to attain perfection causes us to try and ‘fix’ things, and to do so as quickly as possible.  And we -- body, speech, accent, you name it – aren’t spared from this ‘improving’.  With missionary zeal, we set out on the journey to do something to better ourselves, and we don’t give ourselves the time and space to become clear about what is right there, right then.  Jon Kabat Zinn points out "we are tending to ourselves simply by paying kind attention to what is unfolding right in this moment." (Whereever you go)

With the heavy demands we carry, much of our life slips past without our knowing.  The mere act of noticing – focusing our ‘eye’ on the issue, the worry, the fear, the situation – is sufficient to bring about a transformation, a shift, a relaxation, or whatever the moment is asking of us.  In that moment of paying deep attention, we don’t have to do anything.  Rather it becomes our declared intention to be fully available to ourselves just then.

One way we can become available to ourselves – don’t panic!, I’m not suggesting you increase your already overloaded schedule – is to take a couple minutes each day when readying for bed, upon waking, or in the shower to check in with yourself.    

Here’s how you do it:

Move your attention (as if it were warm honey) down your body, emotions and mind. Discover what’s happening there.  Your role is the detached observer. Try not to wish for anything to be different.  For instance, if you notice you are feeling anxious about the day ahead -- then simply look at how anxiety manifests in your body and mind.  Are your thoughts racing?  Are you feeling tense?  Are your palms sweaty?  Observing with kind curiosity is how you become aware of what’s happening in the moment.

After checking in and seeing what’s there, you have options.  You can sit with the feeling and see what else comes up, or you can leave things as they are.  If you feel compelled to challenge your thinking or to do something, then you can figure out what course of action to follow.

The beauty of following this slowing down process is that:

·         it monitors the reactivity and shutting down that automatically occurs when we are  faced with something we don’t like

·         we become responsive and not reactive

·         it helps recalibrate us to what’s happening now. 

And in the present moment, exactly as it is, is the only place we truly exist.  

May this article heal, transform and empower you.