At the beginning of my meditation courses,
I ask students to briefly say why they’ve signed up for a class in
mindfulness. Their reasons are compelling
and heartfelt. They want to be more
attentive and present, less distracted and less reactive, be more kind to
themselves and others, to worry less, and be more at peace.
All these wonderful reasons motivate them
to attend class, and to practice the meditations while we are together. Often though, many students will not keep up
their meditation practice when they are on their own, or they will maintain it
for a little while and then it will fall away.
As a teacher this has concerned me because
I’m invested in them succeeding, and it also makes me curious.
Why do we abandon beneficial practices and
habits?
Lack of time, expectations weren’t immediately
met, changes to schedule, the practice isn’t stimulating etc. are
often reasons for putting aside what we’d like to do for ourselves. Every new practice,
regimen, diet, or habit, even those we’ve done in the past, require renewed effort
from us to establish it.
The
main reason people abandon their efforts is because they lose motivation and
feel deflated. To counter these reasons
we have to know what our attitude is to the practice, and have more compelling
reasons for continuing it.
These questions will help in discovering
our intrinsic motivation for and attitude to the practice. They can
be applied to meditation, or any positive habit you are starting like abandoning
an unhelpful habit, being healthy, being generous, helping others when we don’t feel like it,
being patient and so on.
·
why am
I adopting this habit, exercise?
·
what will
the effects be if I don’t do it?
·
what am
I willing to do, give up, curtail to ensure that I keep this priority?
The last question is the most important
one in discovering our attitude.
Recently I began doing step aerobics again
--- at home! For years I did step aerobics in
gyms in South Africa and in the U.S, and then somewhere along the line, my
exercise regimen switched to walking only.
My main reasons for taking up this habit
again is I need to lose some mid-life weight gain, and get aerobically fit
again. If I don’t do this, I will have
to get a whole new wardrobe (my clothes are dreadfully uncomfortable now), and
I’ll likely begin developing health problems.
Basically I’m not willing to be uncomfortable and get sick!
My attitude is that this is something within
my control, so I’m going to give it my best effort. And because I know it is going to benefit me,
I am happy doing it. Now three mornings a week, you’ll find me
bouncing up and down my step board to loud music.
This next point is really important.
I usually meditate in the mornings. To add
exercise to my morning schedule (research shows its best to do it early in the
morning as the body will keep burning fat all day), I’ll have to adjust my routine to fit in this
new activity. So three days a week,
I get up about 30 minutes earlier to do aerobics and then sit for meditation.
The decision, and more importantly, the willingness
to shift our schedules even slightly to accommodate a new activity is vital to
our success. If we know why we are doing it, and what we are willing to give up to
keep doing it then half the battle is already won.
This joyful attitude (even if it doesn’t
feel particularly joyous) reflects our priority and will help us decide how to
set up our day. We can cut out a half hour of television or internet surfing to go to bed earlier, wake up ten minutes earlier
and so on. Creating space to welcome the new activity is paramount.
If we don’t shift something to make room
for the new activity, we’ll spend time each day debating when or if to do
it. This inner conflict can exhaust us,
which will leave us with little drive or energy to do the practice.
The other trick is to do the new habit in the same time slot. Once it is calendared in like any other important
appointment, the mind will begin to associate that time with that
activity. And of course, there’ll be
days when you aren’t inspired to do it, but fueled by your
intrinsic motivation you will be diligent.
In a meditation practice the attitude of
one’s body and mind is vitally important-- mind and body are alert, and relaxed. Relaxed means an openness and willingness to be
joyfully interested in whatever arises, and especially to be able to laugh and
persevere when things get tough. Over
time and with consistent practice, we’ll actually begin to look forward to
meditation and will begin enjoying it.
It begins with the mindset of joyfully
making space for new habits in our life.
May you happily welcome healthy change into your
life.
