A couple of weeks ago my cousin’s leg had to be
amputated. She had just turned 42. Thinking she was being admitted to have her
toe removed, she was told her foot will have to be taken off instead. After that operation, she learned her leg had
to be amputated. With my cousin in South Africa, and me in the U.S., I found
worrying about her didn’t help. All it
did, was leave me exhausted from lying awake imagining her fear and worry.
Worrying contrary to belief doesn’t prevent our worst
imaginings from occurring or from some tragedy worsening. It does, however, increase our anxiety. We may be accustomed to worrying but may not
know its definition: worrying is being
deeply concerned about a problem or a situation where our thoughts are looping
around “what’s going to happen?” These
kinds of thoughts increase anxiety.
Stress causes us to
become anxious, and in small doses is considered normal even a healthy response. But worrying too much causes us to overreact
to stress or any uncertainty, and that is detrimental to our overall
health. We lose sleep, appetite, the
ability to enjoy what happening in our lives, and the ability to be present.
I decided to redirect my energies to more beneficial practices
instead. I chose to do two kinds of
meditation for my cousin. These are
compassion and loving kindness meditations.
As our country and the world is in turmoil now, we can choose to do these meditations for all
the people who are suffering fear, worry, sadness, anger, and disappointment in
this uncertain time, as well.
Both these
meditations can be challenging. They
could bring up our own feelings of fear, anger and resistance. It is important to do ONLY what you are able
to do. Go slowly. If you encounter a mental or emotional block
to doing these practices for someone else, then make yourself the object of the
meditation. Extend kindness and
compassion towards yourself and consider all the people who may also feel as
you do. Be gentle and mindful as you undertake these
practices.
Loving Kindness
Meditation: (Mentally repeating good
wishes for someone).
·
Sit in in meditation to calm your mind for a few
minutes.
·
Bring to mind someone or something you care for
deeply. Feel a warmth or tenderness arise
in your being.
·
Then imagine the person or situation you’d like
to extend loving kindness to.
·
Strengthen the feeling of love, warmth,
tenderness by repeating 2 or 3 phrases. For
e.g. “May _______ be free from pain”, “May ______ enjoy peace and support”, “May
______feel strong and healthy”.
·
We can also extend such heartfelt wishes to our fellow
countrymen (and women) who are struggling with anxiety and
fear. “May our country be at peace”, “May all people
be free from fear and worry”, “May we practice tolerance and kindness for each
other”
·
Do this for about 5-10 minutes at the end of a
sitting meditation practice.
Tonglen: (Taking
and Sending Meditation)
This compassion
meditation strongly awakens our ability to feel and take on the suffering and
pain of others. It challenges our
tendency to reactively avoid the unpleasant and only grasp the pleasant. The practice is to breathe in the suffering of
another person, and send out relief and benefit to the person on an
exhalation.
Do this meditation for the ill, a person in pain, and
someone who is dying or dead. You can do it for yourself when you are in
pain. Tonglen can be done in sitting
practice or on the spot anywhere anytime.
·
Sit in meditation for a few minutes to calm and
clear the mind.
·
Then
visualize the person or situation. Imagine
that person’s fear and pain as heavy, dark and hot.
·
Breathe in that heavy dark heat – and breathe
out light, peaceful, airy coolness. Feel
the texture of your inhalation and exhalation.
·
Visualise the fear, sadness, anger coming in
through your pores and emanate beneficial positive energy through your pores
and nostrils.
·
After your inhalation and exhalation are in
rhythm with your visualization, expand your wish to relieve the suffering of
all people who may share this pain.
·
Take in the pain of all the people and send all
of them relief.
·
Do this for about 7-10minutes.
·
Sit in calm abiding meditation for a few minutes
to clear your heart mind.
Practise these techniques anytime you feel especially rigid
in your thoughts, feelings or when worry is beginning to set in. Doing these practices empowers us to be a comfort
and strength to the people and situations that need us.
